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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do you think he likes me?

70 replies

FoolishAtNearlyForty · 03/07/2016 20:06

Please forgive the schoolgirl title, I'm so out of practice with this sort of thing and am working myself into a gibbering wreck. I need some clear-headed advice!

There's a guy I really like at work, I think he likes me too but I can't quite bring myself to believe it - he's younger than me, great personality and bloody gorgeous.

We've known each other a while and have always got on well, but have recently started to spend lunch breaks together quite a lot and have been out after work for drinks a few times, sometimes with a group of colleagues but mainly just the two of us.

He's so lovely with me, he opens doors, buys me drinks (I do reciprocate when he lets me, obviously!), hand on my back when trying to get through a crowded pub, little brief touches etc. But then I think maybe he's just a real gent and I'm reading too much into these things.

We've always had a bit of a flirty banter thing but it's changed somehow, he's quite a confident personality generally but lately he seems shy and a bit awkward around me sometimes.

Anyway, on Friday we went for a quick drink after work and I mentioned I'd be away next week so wouldn't be about - the next thing he's picked up my phone, saved his number for me and called himself.
So now we have each others numbers but I'm too bloody scared to text him without a reason Blush

So does any of this sound promising at all or is it all easily explained away as just friends?

OP posts:
Thisisnow16 · 04/07/2016 21:03

Er hmm

Summerlovinf · 04/07/2016 21:11

Tend to find that if a guy likes you and has your number you will know about it. I would guess he is either not into you that much or he's waiting until your back from hols because he remembers you were going to be away.

Gabilan · 04/07/2016 21:56

Whatsgoingon women initiate more divorces but in non-marital hetero relationships men and women are equally likely to initiate a split. Psychologists think the difference is because marriage is less fulfilling for women and somewhat behind the curve in reacting to changes in gender roles. Men don't on the whole stay with women just because, y'know, she asked and anything for an easy life.

Anyway, good luck OP. IME it's best when these things grow organically or just get drunk and snog them

FoolishAtNearlyForty · 04/07/2016 22:59

So, he replied and we've been chit chatting.

As I see it I'm not "chasing" and I'm more than happy to just let things takes their natural course, wherever that may or may not lead.

Girly panic over!

OP posts:
Somerville · 05/07/2016 00:46

Reply and chitchat sounds great. Smile

Stargirl82 · 05/07/2016 12:50

Smilewell done!!

Diamogs · 05/07/2016 12:55

Sorry OP you have to do better than that I am afraid, only a full transcription on to this thread will do for us nosey people.

Dozer · 05/07/2016 13:04

9 years sounds a big age gap IMO. He might fancy you a bit and enjoy your company but not want a relationship with you.

I think in your shoes I would want to find out and might just let him know I was interested in him and just see, and if he didn't act on that then stop spending time with him one to one for a good while, because he'd been a lurve interest not really a friend.

I'd be concerned about any potential problems at work, but perhaps that'd mainly be awkwardness, which would be unfortunate but manageable!

fastdaytears · 05/07/2016 13:05

9 years is not a massive age gap unless you're 25 and he's 16

Dozer · 05/07/2016 13:09

People have different views on that fastday. I think 40/31 is still quite a big gap, for example.

fastdaytears · 05/07/2016 13:17

I appreciate that my view is not authoritative!

But actually 31/40 is my favourite age gap!

Whatthefreakinwhatnow · 05/07/2016 13:26

I'm 31 and my DP is 39, almost 40. It literally has no impact on our relationship at all Dozer, I'm totally Confused why you would think it would?!

Dozer · 05/07/2016 13:30

It depends entirely on the individuals concerned, of course! And their situations. For example, if OP is 47 and he is late 30s and wants DC.

fastdaytears · 05/07/2016 13:37

It's fair to say it's an issue for some people and not for others.

I just prefer older men. Back to the therapist...

user7755 · 05/07/2016 13:39

Dozer unless you are either the DP or the chap she is texting, your opinion of what is an appropriate age gap is a bit pointless.

To imply that he wouldn't fancy her because of that gap is rude and presumptuous.

Dozer · 05/07/2016 14:21

I don't think it's rude to highlight that for some people the age gap would be an issue.

I think it sounds like he certainly does fancy OP!

This thread is a speculation type one and I'm speculating that perhaps he likes her but not enough to enter a relationship. Age and their respective circumstances may or may not be a factor in this. OP has suggested he might be shy/waiting on her signal, so I reckon she'd be best off being upfront and finding out!

I've known plenty of men I liked who were a little bit interested in me, or a friend, but didn't want a relationship with us, for a load of reasons.

user7755 · 05/07/2016 15:01

I disagree. I think it's rude to make those assumptions when there is nothing in any of the posts to suggest that this might be a concern, certainly not that I have picked up.

It's a bit different from saying 'that age gap wouldn't work for me'.

FoolishAtNearlyForty · 05/07/2016 21:08

I don't think it's rude that Dozer feels the age gap might be an issue, I'm sure it would be for some, depends on the people involved and what they're looking for.

I'm not looking for anything serious right now so I'm not really concerned about that. Hes funny, I enjoy his company, he's really, really hot and I'd like to get to know him better Wink is all.

Anyway things are moving along nicely, he's asked if I'd like to meet at the weekend Grin

OP posts:
IveAlreadyPaid · 05/07/2016 21:17

Ooooh sounds good 😁

Dozer · 06/07/2016 00:10

Yay Grin

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