We have been together for 8 years we were young when we got together I was 15 and he 17, the first 2 years wasn't nice lots cheating but then things got better. I know people will say I was stupid but I loved him he was my first and I believed he would change and he did. He no longer cheats he's no longer a reckless young boy he is focused on the future and being happy but that seems like all he cares about all he talks about is making money to start a business so we can have a good life and of course I want these things too so I support him. I currently don't have a job due to health problems so I restore old furniture I find to make a little income for myself, most days am left with a list of things he needs me to do whilst he is unable to at work which I try my best to do but when he comes home and I haven't done the things he needed me to he gets snappy with me and acts like I've been sat at home doing nothing and doesn't see that I've been sanding and painting etc all day and completely forgot. Most nights when he comes home he eats and goes straight to bed which is currently in the spare room as I apprently move a lot during the night and on occasions have kicked him and punched him and he says he cannot sleep in a bed with someone. On his days off he mostly goes and spends it with friends and if he is at home we don't do anything unless it is in a group but never alone unless it's to the supermarket. We have never been on a holiday together in 8 years I have been on 2 without him both with family and he 2 with friends but every year I say we should go on a holiday and he says we can't afford it he says he needs to save for the future but it makes me sad that he won't live for today I worry we never will. I say it doesn't have to be somewhere luxurious it can be cheap and cheerful he just says don't I care about how he feels that he's working hard for our future but not so long ago he was going on a 4 day holiday to Spain with his friends only didn't go because his passport didn't arrive in time. We hardly speak much anymore and hardly ever have sex he watches a lot of porn and seems to prefer that than me as the moment my back has turned to make a cup of tea or have a quick shower he has already gone to "bed". I'm not overweight but not skinny but I seem to be his type and if I do try and have sex with him he definitely does get turned on. We see each other for no more than 2 hours a day which I understand as he works but it's more his attitude recently that is worrying me that in them 2 hours we do see each other he barely speaks to me no hugs or kisses he doesn't care that all these things hurt me it always leads to an argument I've tried everything I can think of pretending to like the porn he watches which isn't anything creepy just not what turns me on I've tried getting him outfits he might like, learning to cook some new dishes he likes as I'm not much of a good cook I've started working out more to get in better shape. Nothing is making a difference I don't know what to do anymore I can imagine my life without him but I'm starting to think he'd be just fine without me.