I'm going to ask him to leave.

[Fratelli]

I think I'm going to ask my partner (I'll refer to him as CJ-short for cock jockey) to leave. If he refuses I'm going to leave with our son. This is quite a long story so I won't blame anyone for not making it to the end!

I feel so so stupid. Our son is 17 months now but when he was 3 weeks old I found out CJ had cheated on me with someone from work twice. Once when I was heavily pregnant and again when he was on paternity leave when ds was almost 3 weeks old. After leaving and staying with my mum for a while I stupidly decided to give it a go. I think because I felt vulnerable and unable to cope alone.

It was tough but I really felt as though I trusted him again. He cut her off and she has left the workplace (I know this as I know a couple of people who work there). CJs family know all about it as I told them why I had left and they were horrified. They were incredibly supportive of me. Anyway, yesterday I just had a feeling something was wrong. Exactly the same feeling as last time. So I looked at his phone. There were messages to a girl, innocent messages but there were only two and they were clearly part of a conversation. The rest had been deleted. CJ works nights and I asked him if he had been messaging anyone, even in a friendly way. He said no, nobody has messages him on fb for months, he wouldn’t have time bla bla bla. He even showed me. So he has obviously deleted the messages.

Whether there is something to it or not he has lied to me and broken trust again. I feel I have the strength to do what I should have done from the start and end it. But I'm scared! How will I cope financially? I work pt but in a minimum wage job and couldn't afford nursery fees! We joint own the house but hardly any equity in it. Am I doing the right thing for ds? I just feel jumbled. That familiar feeling of my stomach churning is back. Sorry it's so long. I need a hand hold if anyone made it this far!

[FreeFromHarm]

Anytime Fratelli 🙂