Do you believe in 'the one'?

[eirrah]

Do you really think that 'the one' exists and how did/do you know?

It's a pleasure, Hero1cally, but it's also true. Anyone who's widowed after a great marriage has a high chance of success in a second marriage. A GP I know told me he'd seen it dozens of times. He also told me a lot of widows/widowers end up marrying one of their late spouse's friends, which means you don't even need to put old photos in the attic.

Some do find the one but some have so many jagged, sharp edges and have been through too much to find someone really compatible. It's just life - we don't always get what we want.

Yes. Actually got the whole "lightning bolt" thing when I first met my DP. I knew he was the one, it was like I'd known him forever. I do think I was ridiculously lucky though.

I did believe in it and thought that XH was The One, felt that we had known each other for ever after only a short while, and thought that we would be together forever, but obviously he wasn't as he left me because he wanted to be with somebody else!

I do often wonder though if I will ever meet anyone that I feel that way about, the way that I felt about him.

But he has proven himself to be somebody that I would not want to be with now, so I suppose that tells me that he wasn't The One!

Hopefully The One is still out there

Logically no.

But when I think about OH and how I've always felt about him and how completely certain I was from the first moment we kissed, I can't quite get away from feeling it.

No I used to but I don't know. Also I don't think there is someone for everyone either and that concept is very irritating to hear when you are long term single. Sure everyone could probably cobble something ok together with someone but that's not a reason to do it, just to have someone. There are people you are more compatible with than others that's all

Don't believe in it, but do believe that even over many years it can be hard to meet one or more people you can love and get on well enough with to have a good long term relationship.

There were loads of blokes I fancied at school and university, for example, but not many who had personalities I liked and who felt the same about me.

Also, when you're married or in a long term relationship you're not open to it so others might pass by unnoticed!

I like the idea that there could be many other, different but great men out there somewhere! Perhaps with other people, being lovely fathers, or polar explorers!

No

I have dated quits a few men but I do think I married dh because we were suited, have similar values and both wanted to settle. We got married and had children. I do wish sometimes I had a real spark or connection. But I don't tell anyone.

Sometimes that makes me sad but it's true.

No. "The one" is a ridiculous concept. I think it's initially about attraction of either physical/emotional/personality traits etc, then shared interests and values and then about support and shared experiences. I also think that even strong and happy relationships can be broken down due to external circumstances. To think that there would only be "the one" out there is a scary thought indeed. I think there are plenty of "the ones" for everyone.

After divorcing 20 odd years ago, people used to tell me I would meet someone. It never really happened for me even though I had a 6 year relationship in that time who I thought was someone I could be with. He wasn't. Fast forwards to the last few months and I went on a date (rolls eyes). I made an effort and thought at least I would have a day out with a friend. Well, we are so suited I actually think he is the one. I can say or do anything and he would love me the same way. I miss him physically when not with him. I never thought I would meet anyone at my age- but I have so yes, I think there is The One out there for everyone if you are brave enough to wait for the right one and not settle for 'Will Do for Now'

category I always think of the Tim Minchin song when this question comes up. It's not romantic but I think he is probably right.

I do believe you can have more than one 'one' - there are thousands of people with whom we are basically compatible but it is over time and with shared life experiences, going through the good tomes and bad times together, forming a family etc that makes them become 'the one'.

I do believe that some people are more open to falling in love than others.

well I think there is something init, I had a 4 and1/2 relationship when 16 -20 he was an utter bastard but I thought I would be the one to change him, I wanted it to work and had silly romantic plans of marriage etc but honestly this was an immature thing of wanting him to want me, he played around and I did too so certainly not 'the one' had a second 4 and 1/2 year living together relationship when I left home to go to Uni at 22 similar thing, i did love him but it was an unrealistic thing about wanting to be in a relationship with someone who wanted me, (low self esteem) he was very possessive and I translated this as love. In our last few months I met my now DH and something odd happened... I just Knew he was the man I wanted to be with always, sounds crap but I really had a feeling, I ended my live in relationship and dated him for 18 months before we married, two years later we had DS1 then 3 years later DS2, still together 26 years later and yes he is still 'the one' the one I want to tell things to when its bad, the one I want to tell things to when its good, the one I cry on, the one Iaugh with, the one I talk to before all others and the one I share everything with. Yes we have had bad times too, been through a lot of heartache and a period of feeling like perhaps we should not be together, a brief flirtation with another man that I never acted on, feelings f despair that we weren't as close, but we always brought it back and as a result are closer than ever. capable of a life on our own but very much prefer the life we have together so yes for me 'he's the one'

Yes. There was a 'one' for me.

It was like being physically struck when I met her. She was engaged, rang her fiance 10 minutes later and told him was over.

The next three years were utter bliss. Everything was perfect. Then she left and went back to her ex fiance :) I was devastated.

I spent the next 5 or 6 years being a total crazy man, wild sex, drugs, drug sex, alcohol, random sex and then one day met a very chilled, very clever lady who didn't tolerate my madness, brought me out of the state I was in and we married, had kids and been together 25 years.

So yes, there is the 'one' but sometimes it's not who you think it is.

I believe I met the one. But I wasn't his.

Yes but they often marry someone else.

I believe you can meet the one that best suits you at the time but not that there is only one person for you.
I met DH when I fell over him as he was sitting on bookshop floor. Very random. We went out and talked for more than 8 hours, moved in together within a week and married with 2 months.
It was the right time for us both and just felt ... well ...right.
However not saying there isn't another one out there ... as I keep reminding him 😃

No, it's a nonsense.
What if your "one" lives in Cardiff, or Rotterdam or Cairo ,places you may never visit. What are the chances of you ever meeting your "one" in a global population of 7.4 billion people.

it's a non starter. we pick the best of what is within our immediate sphere.

Well if you were meant to meet them you would regardless of the geography. What if all that were in your immediate sphere were wrong for you, should you just settle?

No l don't, I really don't.
I say this as a happily married woman btw, even if there was a lightening bolt bullshit moment I firmly believe it would be based on pure animal lust which is fine but not something that's worth more than a fuck or few...

I wholeheartedly believe in 'the one'.

I believed in the one before, I believe in the one I have now, and I will no doubt believe in the one that comes after, and any other 'ones' that follow.

My DP is the absolute love of my life, but if he was 'the one' he would pick his socks up off the floor.

I think there are very few people we meet in life who we are totally compatible with, who feel the same way about us, who are not otherwise committed and who are in a position to offer what we are looking for.

I think my DP is definitely one in a million. THE one, I'm not sure. I'd hate to think that if I hadn't stumbled across him that I would never have been this happy!