Herpes hell. DH dilemma

[Pebbles16]

Have been with DH 22 years. Only had one partner before. 10 years ago DH had an affair. It was hideous. We worked hard and got passed it but, in the meantime, he passed on herpes. He's never considered it serious as his STD nurse says "everyone has it". Well I didn't before he cheated. I was very poorly the first time, have had mild recurrences but have it again like a beast. It's horrid. Am trying to get on with things but I really can't walk or behave normally. Have mentioned to him that I think it's herpes (what with the enormous blisters and crippling pain) and he's just "well go to bed then". I don't want to scream at him that if he hadn't done what he did then I wouldn't be feeling like this. I thought I'd got past the cheating but am feeling like its the gift that keeps on fucking giving. Sorry for rant. Feeling miserable. Want to scream at him but realise that will reverse time and undo everything we've achieved. Have no idea why I'm posting apart from I need to vent a bit

I know I've never had the symptoms of herpes pearly therefore I assume I am ok, I am meant to go about thinking the opposite lol?

I've been with my partner a loooooooooooooooog time.

adora I had been with my partner for 10 years, he gave me herpes yet he had never had any symptoms.

How can you possible say that none of you exes had the virus- you can't possibly know that.

And adora you don't get any brownie badges for not having the herpes virus. It could happen to anyone of us.
Unless you marry a virgin as a virgin and stay with the same partner all your life.

Pearly, I really don't care, I might have cancer, I might have a brain tumour.....................none of my ex's gave me herpes, is that better, does that calm you?

You really are a fud, brownie badges, wtaf, my point was if you bothered to read, that not everyone gets herpes.

Yes we bothered to read, our point was the 'evidence' you presented for that is not reliable!! You have no idea if you have the virus asymptomatically.

Sorry if my evidence is not suiting you, it's good enough for me.

Pebbles you have my sympathy. I contracted genital herpes in my 20s and had no idea what was happening. Peeing was like razor blades were coming out of me and I could hardly walk due to the giant blisters. I had to run a shallow bath and pee in that to ease the pain. Luckily the GUM clinic gave me the right medicine to clear it up and I've not had a recurrence. But if my partner had infected me rather than me carelessly hooking up in my single years, well, I think I'd find it hard to forgive.

If I was you OP I'd be rubbing his flannel on my vadge.

Not helpful I know, but I would want him to share the experience.

HuskyLover, have you had a blood test? Has your husband? If not you don't know, more people have the virus without symptoms than with symptoms.

memyselfandaye I'm not quite sure what you mean by that. He has herpes already.

I know pearly but he has'nt had the symptoms the OP has had, or in fact any symptoms.

I bet he would get the same awful sores she has if she washed her bits with his flannel.

But it was the OP;s OH who gave her the virus- so he is already infected. You can't catch herpes twice.

I was'nt being 100% serious pearly

She has probably got open, weepy sores, because of him, he has never had them, he's symptom free, I was just saying if she was to rub her sores with his flannel, and then he washed his face with it, he would then probably get them too.

If he already has the herpes virus (which he does) then her wiping his flannel on her sores will not cause him to be reinfected on a new site. That's not how herpes behaves.

Herpes is horrible. I caught it from dp who has never had any symptoms. And that is the worrying thing. In a long term relationship how are you going to be able to be careful of one of you is asymptomatic?

Ok you can get aciclovir on repeat prescription as a just in case. I learnt this after having an outbreak on Xmas eve and spending all day at the walk in centre

My ex gave me genital herpes 2 years ago then 3 months later i found out i was pregnant. He had tried to say it was my fault i got it as i must cheated but i hadnt and he had herpes but no symptoms whereas i got the horrifically sore symptoms of a first outbreak. I had outbreaks through my pregnancy and one not long before i was due to give birth but because it wasnt a first outbreak i was allowed a normal delivery instead of having to have a section. I havent had any outbreaks for a while and now while they are uncomfortable they go away in a few days from appearing

I think the nurse was meaning herpes simplex virus which most people have (cold sores) i get a flare up when stressed but i dont think most people have genital herpes

Amy if you have a blood test it will be positive for herpes same as someone who has it on genitals. So nurse probably meant if we test adults for herpes then most are positive.

Grannytomine Herpes is easy to pass on anyway, it can be caught if someone doesn't have symptoms.

Yes you can shed the virus and never have an outbreak yourself. Many people will tell you that you are safer with someone who knows they have it as then you can take precautions and be alert to prodrome symptoms. If someone doesn't know they have it then they can pass it on and will often not believe that they are the one with it. And of course herpes on your face (cold sore) or finger (herpetic whitlow) can be transferred to the genitals.