am I honestly expecting too much?

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

I just want to enjoy life and feel appreciated really. Me and DH very rarely do anything together and if we do it will be a restaurant for a couple of hours once every six months or so. I said today about a couple we know going to a spa hotel overnight and he went off on one slagging this couple off with all their faults when all id said was wouldn't that be nice. He's so negative and always says things like 'I wouldn't enjoy that' as if what I might like is irrelevant.




He's always made me feel unappreciated. He gave me a very low limit for my engagement ring. He wasn't hard up- he was still living with his mum at the time. I wanted to go to a lavish resort for our honeymoon as its a one off thing but said no we couldn't afford it- then joined an expensive golf club. We went to a bog standard resort.

He then starts ranting at me and saying right I'm going to phone your mum and ask her to babysit at half bloody ten getting agitated. I told him not to be so ridiculous and he said I shouldn't 'bully' him into things. Am I just wanting too much or is this marriage dead in the water

[ImperialBlether]

Do you have children, OP?

A marriage isn't a life sentence; if you are not happy together you don't have to live together.

[ImperialBlether]

He sounds very kind and marvellous company, Dozer!

[Dozer]

T'is true he's not sounding great. Perhaps he has (well hidden) good qualities?

[kittybiscuits]

You're not grabby and at best he sounds like no fun at all.

[RunRabbitRunRabbit]

How much do you go out with your mates? How much do you rely on him to be your entertainment? He spends his money on him, what do you spend your money on?

[ImperialBlether]

Well-hidden qualities are a waste of time! Reveal your qualities!

[SandyY2K]

I think your financial arrangements don't suit you very much.

I don't think you're demanding at all, but I've long since learnt that when you use another couple as an example it doesn't go down well.

You should have said I'd like us to get away and have a relaxing spa break. Without mentioning the other couple. Men will see this as a dig. Like you're saying the other man takes his wife away and he doesn't do the same.

Why don't you sit down and make a list of work that needs doing around the house together and decide when the jobs can be done in order of priority.

Do you work?

Do you have access to money yourself? Some men are useless at maintenance and you may well have to take charge in that area.

[sharonthewaspandthewineywall]

He's a good dad. He works hard out of the house. He's financially responsible. Those are the good points.
But he has a habit of sucking the joy out of everything tbh and it's getting wearing.

[IncidentalAnarchist]

How much do you earn in relation to him, OP?