Tinder

[datingdisaster41]

Hi all - I've tried online dating - I just seem to see the same old face on pof (men probs think the same about mine!) I'd like to try Tinder but does anyone have experience? I heard you have to go through Facebook and I don't want it to show up on my Facebook account. Also - am I a bit too old as I'm mid-forties? Thanks!

[tsonlyme]

Seeing as how you can't send pictures in messages on tinder are these dick pics after you've added someone to whatsapp or kik? I don't add people to whatsapp until I have a good measure of them. Anything even vaguely sexual on tinder messaging and I wouldn't take it further. Flirty, yes, but not not sexual.

[Myusernameismyusername]

Yes after adding people you think are reasonably normal

[catbasilio]

Do you think is worth joining being a size 18? I am putting an effort to get fitter, would like to date at the same time but really scared to go on dates - I think they would not realize my size from photos. I certainly lack confidence in that!

[Myusernameismyusername]

No no don't let it put you off. There will always be shallow people who are bothered by size and others who rate personality higher. It is easy to let yourself feel awful when you compare to all the bikini gym bunnies but I prob got the same amount of sleaze as they did I bet!

[Myusernameismyusername]

Personally I do not like tinder for this reason - of confidence is an issue, maybe choose one of the sites where it's more about compatibility

[cinammontwist]

I've had enough interest from guys even after I've met them to suggest that not all men are after a gym bunny. Although I think I'd get more interest if I was a size 14.

[CauliflowerBalti]

Love love love love love Tinder. To death. Met my partner on it, we are getting married next year

It's the best dating site/app by far. You can swipe right on people who you believe are out of your league and wouldn't ordinarily dare approach, they never find out unless they swipe right back - and some of them do! This was a revelation for someone like me, with little confidence. Would never dare approach the men I was actually attracted to, for fear of rejection. Not so on Tinder!

It's criticised for being superficial, but I found it honest and the most like meeting someone in a bar. You don't angst over whether you're the same star sign and eat red meat at the same frequency in a bar, so what is the point of all that shit on Match.com?! It's ridiculous. Tinder is back to basics - looks nice, presents himself well, yeah, let's find out if there's anything there. Brilliant.

I had a couple of guys clearly only wanting one thing, but no matter. Easy avoided. Some great dates, and then I met my man. Do it. It's ACE.

[Lostlou]

I've found Tinder dreadful really so I am using it for amusement purposes only. I'm 42. I PROMISE it will not show up on your Facebook status. All my friends and close colleagues know I'm on it so I don't give a t*ss frankly anyway.

I'm about to log in now. We can compare notes if you like! :-) x

[StillDrSethHazlittMD]

Something else that has surprised me - the number of women in their mid-30s to mid-40s with facial piercings (ie, not nose) and/or full sleeve tattoos

[catbasilio]

I shall gather my confidence and try it out! (nevermind size 18!)

[Snazarooney]

Please do and report back!

[Lostlou]

Well I've just run out of matches on Tinder....

[Snazarooney]

CaliflowerBalti I agree 100 percent! Congratulations on your engagement too.

[GreenTreeGreenPea]

My DD (23) uses it along with Bumble (an identical app - only difference girls have to talk first). She says everyone she knows who is single in London is pretty much on these apps and it is the main way people meet other than work nowadays!
She loves it as can check out the background/narrow down before she meets them. She works in a female orientated career so doesn't really meet men that way. She has had a boyfriend from it last year and is now single again as he moved abroad for work so back on the apps.
Obviously she says there are the ones who just want sex but she quickly filters them out and doesn't meet them again or realises and stops replying to them.
All sounds great...
I don't have the guts to try it as a 54 year old!!

[MariposaUno]

In a short time I used it my first match was a stunner and interested to meet. Think young footballer, I am no great beauty but I still swiped the ones I found attractive but I also swiped the ones with funny or intelligent bios over thier looks.
I don't consider anyone out of my league and vice versa.

I gave up tinder along time ago as found a current permanent match on it but I did find it hard work. It takes a lot of time to sift through people

[Myusernameismyusername]

I am completely at a loss what to write on a profile anymore. Through having not much luck, I just don't know what to put.
Mention kids or not?
I don't have any hobbies (I don't mind this, I don't want a hobby but I realise then I sound dull).
Work? That can be dull.
I'm not one for lists of all my likes really I am one of those people who kind of likes most things, I'm not fussy or high maintence.

This is why I can't date. I'm boring!

[Myusernameismyusername]

Oh my god so I went back on Tinder after writing that message and the first message I get from a match is 'do you want naughty fun?'
He's a few years older than me, looked totally nice from photos etc. This is instantly depressing. There is nothing in my profile to indicate this is ok

[Stewart2017]

.... " first message I get 'do you want naughty fun?' "

I think the first message seems crucial. Above is a red flag, but then "hey" or "how's your day" seem kinda lame too.

[requiring]

stupid question but... do you have to use photos that are public on your Facebook page? I'd probably want to use a selfie or something... but wouldn't want to upload that to Facebook. or it would be really obvious to everyone what I am up to!!

[velourvoyageur]

I like Tinder, only used it a bit as met someone lovely straightaway.
I met up with two people - I'm still seeing the first one and the second is a friend.
I'm gay and the amount of men who put their sex as female pisses me off though.

[thestamp]

No you don't have to use public pics! You can upload to fb under the "only me" setting and then add to tinder and no one on fb will be the wiser

[Tenshidarkangel]

Also met my DP on Tinder :D

[thestamp]

DrSeth I had a bit of a giggle at your comments about not swiping right on girls you think are too pretty...

I am a pretty person (if I'm allowed to say that - fair, slim, good figure, well dressed etc) but my "type" when it comes to men is one that others often comment doesn't quite "match" me. E.g. I prefer skinny men with a bit of a belly... don't like gym buffs... prefer thinning hair (really!)... don't like tall men. I love gingers, freckles, acne scars.

I swiped right only on my type.. luckily for me my current bf has a philosophy of not worrying whether a pretty girl on Tinder will swipe right on him or not...!

I've a male friend who had your philosophy that he needed to be "realistic"... I set him right. A week later he met a gorgeous lovely woman and they are very enamoured of each other. He is, to an outside eye, punching above his weight with her but she thinks he's great.

Just saying!

[OopsDearyMe]

I use Badoo as I get more responses, I had two con men approach on tinder and too many dikpiks

[everythingis]

I live with a gorgeous man (the only man) I met on tinder. He is a great partner and devoted step dad I'm so glad I tried it!