Gosh that was hard - but go me!

[Dollygirl2008]

Just that really. First time that my DC met "the other family" (exP left me for a witch with 3 little witches 9 months ago). It was the first "meet" this weekend for my 6 year old in the park. Gosh it was hard. The "hour" turned into 3, but I tried to just remain calm and took that a sign that it was going well. However, am I slightly twisted and wrong to wish it hadn't? I almost think "why the hell should you have it easy" even though I'm sure its not.

It was horrible when she came home and told me about the public displays of affection between them.

I know I must sound bitter and twisted, but will I ever get over this almost self consuming feeling of wanted constant revenge for being left and hurt??????

No Dolly, no. Do not start blaming yourself. Turn the blame outwards and direct it where it belongs. Allow yourself to feel angry and whatever else you feel

Op what you called the ow is very soft in comparison to what I have called the ow my ex left me for! Saying she owes you nothing is crap! It's called having morals and realising the consequences of both of their actions and how it will effect their children if not the mother of the child!

The ow in my case new I was heavily pregnant knew I had a 2 year old and I'm sorry she knew she was being a dick so did he!!
Vent away I have been using this forum since my ex left in January and it's helped soooo much!

Be gentle with yourself op it will be hard ♡♡

No op, not your fault AT ALL!

Dolly
Gawd dont you dare go down that route you are NOT to blame.

He is an adult he could have talked to you about any problems or feelings he had first, then decided what to do, then if all else failed LEAVE so you could deal with that, THEN tell you he wanted to be with someone else. But he didnt so obviously only thinking about himself.

I agree with all the pps who have said that the ex isn't responsible. People get so worked up about how she should have had 'morals' and 'respect' another woman's marriage but any marriage is only the responsibility of those in it. Shreiking on about what a bitch OWs are is misdirected.

No-one knows about anyone else's marriage but the people in it. If the MM said the right thing to do was to shag her, that was his decision and she was free to take him at his word.

Call the other woman whatever the f##k you like! No decent person sniffs around a married/partnered person, ever. Notice, I said decent.

Hope you're okay, op. I've been there, it's awful & remember, none of your anger should be directed at the OW .

Anger at the OW is only ever directed at her if she starts a thread about the affair, then the masses can't wait to get stuck & put her straight

Morning, op.

Hope you are feeling okay today.

but any marriage is only the responsibility of those in it

I fundamentally and entirely disagree with this.

The married couple have the prime responsibility, of course, but there are layers of responsibility fanning out: to support said marriage as far as possible in whatever way is appropriate.

I do think it's our responsibility to uphold a marriage as far as we are able. If either partner wants to get out then they can do it properly - not by shagging someone else.

Marriage is not easy - we need others to commit to backing us up. I do so abhor the individualism that has infected our culture; taking the tenets of therapy to inappropriate and blanket extremes.

You've got every right to demonize the other women. You don't owe her anything.
Why shouldn't you be bitter. Who wouldn't be.

I couldn't ever be jealous of a woman whose partner started a relationship with her while he was with another woman. That's no catch. That's not something to want.