Anger management help for DP

[Yellowsunshine90]

Hiya, looking for a bit of advice really about how to approach my DP'S anger issues, what help is out there for him etc.

We have been together for a year and a half and have a 13 week old DS. We were work friends before getting together and I thought I knew him really well. A couple of months into the relationship we hit some testing times at work - we worked in the same team and once my male boss found out we were together he made work really difficult for my DP, resulting in management getting involved and my DP was moved departments. I ended up going off on the sick for a few weeks due to the stress of work and my DP blaming me for my boss's behaviour (I had previously had an affair with my boss a couple of years before I started a relationship with DP). DP would get angry after work each evening and punch walls, throw things, etc.

Fast forward a year and DP still has almost daily outbursts of anger, unrelated to work but 'due' to other things such as stress as he is working full time as well as studying for a uni degree and all the stress that comes with having a baby. He continues to throw things, kick things, punch walls and generally breaks stuff in the house. He has also thrown things at me (a ruler, plastic wrapping from easter egg, hard chocolates from easter egg, soiled baby wipe) and the hard chocolate actually hit my son on the head as I was nursing him at the time.

Yesterday he got annoyed at me because I told him I had a bad tummy. He said I should go to the Dr and I said that I don't need to go to the doctor as it's mild and only come on that day. He punched the side of the sofa repeatedly and then grabbed my leg and squeezed hard. I have woken up this morning to blue bruises.

After his outbursts he always apologises for his behaviour and goes in a strop with himself for how he has behaved.

The leg squeezing has been the final straw and I know he needs to get help for his anger. I am worried about my son growing up seeing his behaviour and thinking it's normal.

What should I suggest to DP - would it be counselling and if so does he need to see Dr?

What Nick said.

His violence is escalating. It won't be long before he starts punching you instead of walls/furniture and you'll end up with considerably more than bruising on a leg.

The stark fact is that there is no "where we go from here" as he must leave and you must stay and raise your ds in the loving and harmonious environment that should be every child's birthright.

Ignore the advice you've been given here at your peril, OP, otherwise you'll find yourself being battered senseless while your tiny ds screams his head off in terror.

Social care would class your oh's behaviour as worrying and potentially causing significant harm to your child. Making excuses for him would make people very concerned as it may be seen as condoning his behaviour
He's abusive to you and so too your child, with or without object throwing. What do your friends think of his behaviour?

Go to your GP and show her the bruising

Ask your Health Visitor to call by, and show her the bruising

Whichever you find easier to talk to, tell them about the throwing and punching. They will help you