Feeling smug

[oliveoilandaubergine]

name changed as outing with previous posts - i now have confirmed proof my ex was shagging a girl in the local when he was trying to make me out to be paranoid/controlling to his family and friends for not being happy with him spending time in said local (more to the story)!

i want to do something with this information however as i am now extremely happy with where my life is going i dont want him to think i am in any way bitter (because im not) i just think he will be embarrassed to know that i know as she is barely 18 (he is in his 30's) and she is like the back end of a bus , so i thought i would share it on here instead! im not actually going to do anything with the information (in fact i would love to high five said bus end for fucking his head up that much i had no choice but to end it)

he is in a relationship and lives with his new girlfriend and he has also been cheating on his girlfriend with this local barmaid/glass collector.

i feel smug because i am so happy with my life, i have an amazing guy in my life who is fab with my children, im buying my dream house and am going on a dream holiday. my ex has mimimal contact with our amazing children (his choice) and he is obviously unhappy in his relationship if he keeps cheating! he spends all his money on the pub.

just wanted to share. hope i dont offend anyone but i needed to get it out of my system that i know and it would just make me look bitter if i confronted him.

Eeek.
This all makes me stressed out on sooo many levels.

OP

Many of us would say your ex has been hit by the karma bus.
I think those posters getting at you may have been on the other side at some point.

I felt kinda smug too seeing a cheating ex loose his precious career. I thought it served him right for being a prat and thinking he was God's gift.😂

Sorry, Olive.

I think I took the whole thread too literally.

I'm glad your dp is such a sort!

Thats all it is dilys, thank you for explaining.

Walter its ok, really though i just wanted to put it all down in writing and didnt mean to come across as shallow. i know looks arent everything, im not exactly an oil painting myself.

i dont think i will ever 100% forget how i was treated as i was put through a hell of a time but i am happy and it is nice to finally have a partner that appreciates me for me and who i can be myself with.

Good for you Olive.

Apparently there are alot of perfect people on here .

I'm hoping to meet someone new at some point post my cheating ex so your story is a nice one.

OP isn't that over her ex if she's starting threads on mumsnet about him.

OP if you're so happy with your life why are you even involved in who your ex is with now? Partner / cheating - who cares? If you're so happy why is it any concern to you?

dilys, i hope you do meet someone who treats you well

no howto i really want to still be with my emotionally abusive/borderline physically abusive ex who cheated on me i am so not over him!

where am i involved in who my ex is with now? i have no clue who his girlfriend is, i know he has a girlfriend as he has told me and i know he has cheated on her. please tell me how i am involved??? i cant help what people tell me.

do you know what, i feel much better getting it out on here and im glad most of you do get where im coming from!

You talked in your OP about how he lives with a gf but is cheating as well...

You saying "I want to do something with this information" makes it sound like you have emotional energy for him... Strange since you protest your life is so amazing.
I'd have thought you'd have spent your time on your amazing life rather than starting anonymous internet threads about someone you are so far over...

Still - if it makes you feel better (which again seems odd if you don't care at all) then up to you!

People come on mumsnet all the time saying they look at ex's on facebook out of interest. that doesnt mean they are not happy with there own life. (i dont have facebook)
i know myself how i feel so i will trust my own feelings rather than the opinion of a stranger which i never asked for.

rather than have strangers question whether or not i am over my ex i am going to now spend time on "my amazing life" as suggested by howto as i cant possibly be happy if i start a mumsnet topic about my ex.

True - but browsing up exes is v different to the things you have talked about.

Good that you trust your own feelings.

If you don't want opinions from strangers then probably best not to start random internet threads.

Good luck

If you don't want opinions from strangers then probably best not to start random internet threads

I read this thread earlier on my phone on the bus and I couldn't wait to get back and post a response.

There are some right miserable fuckers on Mumsnet sometimes and they've turned up here ... having a pop at the OP who has every right to feel smug if she wants and every right to describe the barmaid her ex was shagging as 'the back end of the bus'.

Olive love, don't let some of the judgemental misery guts on here spoil your delight. It's bloody marvellous when the old karmic boot kicks someone up the arse who deserves it, and it sounds like your ex and his barmaid most definitely do. Not only was she willing to shag him when she knew he was in a committed relationship with you (and children), she is also prepared to be his bit on the side when he's in a new relationship, so she's fair game in the name calling department.

I know when I found some years after I left him, that the karma bus had caught up with my arsehole ex, I went out in the garden and actually did a dance, I was that happy!

Be as smug as you like love. You deserve it!

olive
I feel exactly like you. I feel smug. I was so cut up when my ex ditched me for OW I thought I'd never be happy again
I'm actually happier now than I ever was with him with someone else and have been for over a year.
I do think about him (the ex) but its purely bwahahaha so bollocks to all the posters who say you are overly invested. You CAN think about your ex and feel smuggedy smug smug!
His OW doesn't look like the back end of the bus though. More witch like.
Don't care if I get flamed. She looks like a witch. So there.

Donajimena and fontella, thanks! think its pretty common to feel like this by the sounds of it! the people who dont understand have probably never been through it and i hope they never have to! however i would go through it all again if i meant i got to have the life i have now!

Olive - I'm happy for you, sounds like you've been to hell and back!

However, don't ever rely on a man to bring you happiness and an amazing life. It's fantastic you are in love and he sounds really nice but the main thing is that you are confident in being happy by yourself and are emotionally stable enough to be ok without a man, mainly for the sake of your DC's.
Not saying you should live your life worrying that he will leave, but know that COULD happen and make sure it wouldn't ruin you or DC's happiness. Sounds like you've done a great job getting your life back on track, well done. X

Thanks Hummy, i dont rely on him to make me happy. There are a number of things that make me happy and he is one of them. its just nice to feel appreciated and to be able to be myself without constantly worrying about what i can say. i have no worries of him leaving but having been in a long relationship that failed i am aware that anything can happen.

That's great Olive :) all the best X

OP ❤ the back end of a bus comment! Glad you're happy and vented on here rather than RL. Ignore the keyboard warriors. You rock!