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Original poster

Feeling smug

69 replies

oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 12:21

name changed as outing with previous posts - i now have confirmed proof my ex was shagging a girl in the local when he was trying to make me out to be paranoid/controlling to his family and friends for not being happy with him spending time in said local (more to the story)!

i want to do something with this information however as i am now extremely happy with where my life is going i dont want him to think i am in any way bitter (because im not) i just think he will be embarrassed to know that i know as she is barely 18 (he is in his 30's) and she is like the back end of a bus , so i thought i would share it on here instead! im not actually going to do anything with the information (in fact i would love to high five said bus end for fucking his head up that much i had no choice but to end it)

he is in a relationship and lives with his new girlfriend and he has also been cheating on his girlfriend with this local barmaid/glass collector.

i feel smug because i am so happy with my life, i have an amazing guy in my life who is fab with my children, im buying my dream house and am going on a dream holiday. my ex has mimimal contact with our amazing children (his choice) and he is obviously unhappy in his relationship if he keeps cheating! he spends all his money on the pub.

just wanted to share. hope i dont offend anyone but i needed to get it out of my system that i know and it would just make me look bitter if i confronted him.

OP posts:
ChicRock · 23/05/2016 15:40

But your happiness is still bound up in your ex and is all about your comparisons with his life.

blindsider · 23/05/2016 15:46

costacoffee

I expect your nomination for canonisation to be confirmed any day now Hmm

Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 15:49

oh well i'm happy and don't have to prove it to those of you who doubt me! thanks for everyone who has wished me well Smile

OP posts:
UmbongoUnchained · 23/05/2016 15:50

I understand! I was absolutely distraught when I found out my ex had been cheating on me, but when I found out she was 20 stone, and looked like a bulldog who had been beaten with an ugly stick it fucking cheered me up no end!!!

Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 15:54

i challenge anyone to not feel like that umbongo Grin

OP posts:
UmbongoUnchained · 23/05/2016 15:55

When I saw her it was the first time I had laughed in about 5 months. Sometimes humans need to be cunts to survive.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 15:56

as for being smug that my boyfriend is ripped, it may be childish but who gives a fuck!

It just doesn't seem as though you've really broken from your ex that's all.

I think you'll only really, truly manage to be happy when you've moved on enough not to care what she looks like or whether your dp remains 'ripped' Hmm Or not.

I just think you're doing yourself a disetvice.

Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 15:56

Diservice

DrMorbius · 23/05/2016 16:02

MN post of the year but when I found out she was 20 stone, and looked like a bulldog who had been beaten with an ugly stick it fucking cheered me up no end!!!

Grin Smile Grin Smile

GinaBambino · 23/05/2016 16:09

Umbongo your post made me laugh! XH's new wife is exactly the same sort of person that he left to be with me; compliant, overweight and not great looking
Cheered me up that she was so different to me (I admit I'd have been upset if she was similar to me) and yes it can be seen as low but as we've said, if these women were nice people inside and out they wouldn't be involved in this situation would they?
Oh and I'm not placing the blame squarely at OW's doors btw, the men are to blame for getting involved with someone else but at least we're well shot of them now.

Costacoffeeplease · 23/05/2016 16:10

Thank you blindsider, I'll look forward to it

blindsider · 23/05/2016 16:12

Umbongo

Quite - ain't no one that doesn't like a bit of Schadenfreude...

Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 16:20

exactly blindsider!
walter clearly you have never been there! i dont have to justify my happiness to you.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 16:21

Confused I never said you did!

No, I haven't been there, if "there" is where you're still so caught up in your ex that your happiness is a direct result of who is better looking!

kaitlinktm · 23/05/2016 16:21

No I haven't - I have actually said the opposite

kaitlin you have missed the point! if she was nice inside she wouldnt be sleeping with somebodys boyfriend/husband

What I said was

It is what she is like inside which matters. It doesn't sound as though she is a nice person - but she can't help her looks

You see - "it DOESN'T sound as though she is a nice person"

Her appearance has no bearing on her behaviour (which is BAD) and to criticise her for it detracts from your point.

Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 16:26

im pretty confident you knew what i meant walter! why wouldnt i be happy that i find my partner attractive??

OP posts:
Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 16:29

kaitlin she can sleep with whoever the fuck she wants and i can call her whatever the fuck i want.

OP posts:
Waltermittythesequel · 23/05/2016 16:35

I'm not sure if you're being deliberately obtuse or really not getting what I'm saying, tbh.

kaitlinktm · 23/05/2016 16:39

Oh OK then Olive - just that you posted on a public forum that's all.

Glad you are feeling smug though.

but I hadn't missed the point

Costacoffeeplease · 23/05/2016 16:54

For someone who's so happy you seem mighty stressed

Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 17:34

Walter I get what you are saying! My happiness is not a direct result of my partner being better looking! I'm not that shallow. It was meant to be taken lightheartedly Smile

OP posts:
Original poster
oliveoilandaubergine · 23/05/2016 17:35

Costa you goady fucker. Nah I'm not stressed. I can handle you lot. Wink

OP posts:
UmbongoUnchained · 23/05/2016 17:37

Olive don't forget MN is full of perfect people who never offend anyone, are totes PC and would never dream of putting a foot wrong Wink

Costacoffeeplease · 23/05/2016 17:42

Goady fucker! Even nicer - first time I've been called that, cheers

dilys4trevor · 23/05/2016 22:05

It would be an oddly and unusually holy person who would not harbour dark feelings towards both the ex AND the ow.

And of those who would (and that's most people, against their better judgement - sure - but they are human), they'd find it very hard to keep this strictly to the ow's 'inside.'

Of course there wouldn't be many who didn't feel pleased that the ow wasn't as attractive as feared. It's natural to think mean and bitchy thoughts about someone who has slept wth your husband. It's not like OP is exonerating him from blame.

Yes she may sound a bit like she hasn't 100% forgotten and moved on but sometimes an experience stays with you even when you feel happy again.

I think bitching about an ow is pretty excusable in the grand scheme.