My brother is recreationally using heroin...

[GlitteryPomPoms]

I've NC for this thread.

I found out today that my brother (28 years old) uses heroin recreationally a couple of times a month.

He's single. He has no children. He has a good job and is doing well in his career. His use of heroin doesn't appear to be affecting his life.

I'm obviously worried this is going to spiral into addiction but he says he's been doing it for a few years, that he knows what he's doing to stop it becoming a problem and that anyway it's none of my business.

I don't know what I'm asking really. I guess, is it actually possible to recreationally use heroin? What can I or should I do to help him?

My friend used recreationally, he never became addicted.

Last November he got a bit for the weekend. It was a stronger batch than what he was used to.

His favourite colour was orange, we all wore a little bit of orange to his funeral.

"I feel like it's happening in slow motion so I have time to help".

You used that phrasing twice; "I have time to help".

And how do you propose to help him?. You're his sister; he does not want your help and you are woefully unequipped to help him. Am so sorry but its fact. Its all too easy to enable and that will not help him or you in the long run.

You cannot help someone who does not want to be helped. Get support instead for you, you're going to need it in the months ahead. He is in his own denial of the situation.

You can only help your own self and you have time to do that for you. Protect your own self.

If he's vain, you could try reminding him that it will fuck up his teeth and skin quicker than anything else.

But, like PP have said, it sounds like he doesn't want your help.

Excellent post by oyster.

Anyone using heroin recreationally every so often is in a tiny, tiny minority but it is possible.

I know someone who's been doing that for about 15 years. Responsible job, family etc. You'd never know he was into it but he is and there are no indications in his day to day life.

As I said though, it's such a tiny minority of people who manage that.

The problem is Coco that I genuinely dont think there is much you can do except stand at the side and watch it happen. If your brother wants to take heroin he will do so and he will tell himself he is in control up until the point when he can't maintain the lie even to himself. Maybe he will see it early enough that it doesnt completely fuck up his life and maybe he won't, but nobody can do it for him. Nobody, however close or well-meaning can show him what he does not want to see.

I am not anti drugs. I have taken plenty, but I think there are some drugs that are very hard to keep recreational and heroin is top of the list.

I work near a clean needle exchange and it is so sad to see the depths heroin takes people to.

I have another friend who has been smoking 'gear' for over 20 years. He has one tooth left in the top of his mouth....

No such thing as recreational heroin use. One bad batch and it's curtains.

Plenty of 'functional' addicts still have a job or house or partner or car. They are still addicts. Addiction isn't just someone homeless in the gutter with a needle. It's far more complex than that.

Your brother already has addiction behaviours, minimising, rationalising and defending his using and fobbing off your concerns. He is no different to every other addict that thought they were special and different and could handle it.

Your brother can't/doesn't want to quit. He is already an addict - the disease of addiction is progressive. In some cases it's a slow progression, in others, a fast one.

Make sure you never try it along with him.

oysterbabe that's an amazing post and kind of how a friend who sadly has od'd and died since described it as. Opiates are lovely and gentle and give you a feeling of equal calm that not everyone naturally has. For that reason I'd be shit scared to start heroin because I know there'd be no end. I've already built up quite a high tolerance to 'lesser' opiates. I could easily take 100mg tramadol , bump it with 100+ mg codeine an hour later and add a few drinks and spliffs on top and just feel a better version of normal. Calmer, gentler and just equal. No great high.
To be clear to anyone that recognises me, I'm not using at all at the moment. Just nice memories.

Heroin addicts,don't always inject they can still be an addict smoking it all the time they can also appear respectable and hold down a job but still be an addict someone very close to me was an addict for over ten years he's clean now but it came close to destroying him he worked and never injected .

If he is an addict he won't be telling you the truth. Addicts lie. Then they steal and lie about it.
I'm so sorry you can't help him if he doesn't want to be helped.
I hope for you he is one of the tiny tiny minority of people what mess around with heroin and don't get addicted and wreck their lives. I'm waiting for my brother to die from what drugs have done to him and it's awful.

to everyone else who's suffered or suffering because of this evil drug.

Athena I found that incredibly moving. I'm going to make my teens watch it.

Oh god, such an awful drug....

Reminds me of a young mum I knew in the 80s. Smoked heroin too.

Don't know what happened (if she started injecting) cos I don't hang around those people. Turned out the stuff she had bought was much purer than her body could take, I heard.

She was found dead 2 days later - with her toddler still in the flat.

It breaks my heart. Thank god he was adopted by a wonderful couple with two daughters already.

I smoke weed. Wouldn't touch coke or anything else including prescription drugs if you paid me!.

The thing about heroin is as has been mentioned, it's not a party drug, it's not a rush. It's not a fun time to be shared with friends. You don't dance all night and love people you're with that you just met. You don't feel more attractive or confident and fascinating to other people. You nod out in your own little world where nothing hurts, nothing matters and there are no worries. Lots of poly substance users try heroin on one or many occasions but never got into it because it's not the effect they want.

It's a painkiller (diamorphine) the most effective painkiller which is used in medicine. Pain can be both physical or emotional/mental. You would struggle to find a heroin addict who wasn't trying to escape some kind of pain - usually emotional.

I've tried it. Years and years ago and it was the first time in years that all my anxiety, memories of trauma, anger etc just melted away. I'm not religious but the only way I can describe it is in the book of Revelations in the bible and I paraphrase but it's something like ' and God wiped the tears from their eyes and there was no more pain or death or suffering'.

That's exactly what it felt like and I'm lucky that even though I was really messed up at the time, the people around me prevented me from doing it again. I have no doubt I'd have become addicted.

Over 20 years on I can still remember how it felt and there has never been any other occasion in my life (a successful life with numerous times of joy and happiness) that I felt so content and at peace. But when I used it I was in so much emotional pain. It might not appeal to me so much if I did it again now because I don't need to be numbed.

So it's not just a case of it being an addictive drug. The effect of heroin is that it numbs. It's a fluffy cloud where nothing hurts or worries. That's what is appealing if you're in pain.

If you're not in physical or emotional pain every day then it's possible to use it every so often just as a brief escape from life or it's responsibilities. It's rare but possible.

It's playing with fire though. The tipping point can occur at any time.

I'm sorry to hear about your brother glittery.
Oyster, that was a brilliant post.
No one who takes heroin thinks at the beginning they will get addicted. I took it on and off for about 18 months, before it became an actual habit. Once that happened, getting hold of gear was all that mattered to me.
I was left some money by my grandmother and by the end of a year it had all gone.
I could have invested it , or bought a nice painting, or some jewellery or even given it to charity, but instead it went up in smoke - literally.
The withdrawals from heroin were the worse experience I've ever had. About four years ago I had a major operation because I had breast cancer which had spread to my stomach and got to the secondary stage and I'm lucky to be alive.
The reason I didn't go to the doctor earlier is that ill as I felt, it wasn't as bad as cold turkey. The physical aspect of it only lasted a few days, but it felt like years. I never ever want to go through the experience of withdrawals again.
Apparently withdrawal from methadone is even worse, so no wonder so many addicts are unable to get off it.
Glittery, I'm afraid no one can force a user to stop, but there are support groups which will help you - Al Anon and Families Anonymous for example.

I agree that certain people are drawn to heroin. My cousin didn't have a great upbringing and had just broken up with his girlfriend when he started using. I remember someone once describing the feeling it gave them as being like the biggest, warmest hug from the person you love most in the world.

I've taken everything there is to take. I'm not an addict, nor have I been. I think some responses on here are a little OTT.

BUT, addiction can creep up on you. I hope your brother is aware that the pull of heroin is strong. Even if you're not trying to 'escape' or some such, it still needs respect. Regular use can form a creeping dependency, which if he feels is beginning, he needs to back away.

I assume he risk assess his use and exposure, but it's not an exact science. I'd counsel caution.

I have never used heroin, as such, but I have been so incredibly ill and in pain that I required permanent IV morphine. I don't really remember any psychological effects, I do remember it was the only thing they took the immense pain away.
What I remember from morphine (and this is 10 years ago now) is the absolute hell of cold turkey withdrawal. There were so many immense physical symptoms, it was hell on earth. I ended up having an extended stay in hospital due to the withdrawal symptoms.
Don't underestimate how difficult it will be for him to stop.

No one uses herion recreationally ( I speak of someone who's DB wasted majority of his 20s hooked on this stuff. It's highly addictive and they never able to achieve that first high ( hence chasing the dragon) pretty soon your DB is going to start get more dependant on it his work will start to go down hill. No one can use this as a social drug and expect not to get addicted. Even people can get addicted to cocacine herion is on another level. Your body begins physically shut down if you don't get a hit it becomes dependant on this drug to function but the thing is don't function you lose friends, home,money, employment it's a downward spiral believe me.

" No one uses herion recreationally "

I have done over the years tbh. But the people around me with habits were so scary that I have kept it at arms length.

I have a chase no more than once in two or more years. I probably won't do it again.

maria that's seems a reasonable response: cautious and scared. I'd worry about regular use. Not enough respect.

Nothing recreational about writhing in agony and vomiting for days on end when you can't get the fix any more.

Summed it up brilliantly, Oyster.

And remember those posters in the 80s, a young lad looking like a zombie, sitting in the guttter. "Heroin Fucks You up" they proclaimed. Well it doesn't at first. For the first couple of months it brings out the colour of your eyes (tiny pupils) and your skin glows. Back in the day it was sold legally as a panacea. Ah, the posters and hype are wrong, thinks recreational user.

6 months along, you're ringing your dealer every hour for them to tell you to ring them back in an hour. This goes on until they switch their phone off. Eating/sleeping in that state - futile. You no longer have bright eyes and your once glowing skin is grey and sallow. Because you didn't score that night, you feel like you have dysentery, worse flu ever, and you can't think straight, so throw a sickie at work. Eventually you end up losing your job, due to all the sickies.

The people you see sitting in a shop door-way waving a polystyrene cup, asking strangers for 50p "for a cup of tea", would have been recreational users once.

There is a boy in my town, he approaches anyone and everyone, requesting 45p for train fare. Every day. He looks like the boy in the 80's posters.

OP, please show this thread to your brother. If he has problems relaxing, suggest mindfulness and acupuncture.

Not sure about this but doesn't morphine/heroin create brain changes so that it makes you want more and more?

Scary.

I had pethedine several times towards the end of my second preg. God it felt wonderful, absolutely wonderful. I mentioned this to a friend and got quite the lecture on how it changes your brain wiring ... scary stuff.

You can't stop your brother glittery, I hope he stops for himself. But if you are able to drop the odd comment in without alienating, it might be worth mentioning in passing. Once that wiring is changed, apparently, it won't ever go back (hence the relapses many years later for some people who've gone clean for a long time).