Do most heroin addicts almost always relapse?

[lottieandmia2]

The back story is that I was with this guy for about 4 years. I did really love him but he had a heroin addiction when he was 18, was clean for 10 years and then suddenly relapsed. After about 6 months of wondering what the hell was going on with him, I decided I had to leave him because there was nothing I could do.

This was 3 years ago, now. Suddenly, he has got back in contact saying he's clean and he really misses me and wants us to give it another try. He has apparently got clean by going to live with his mum and dad again for a while. I always knew that the first sign of him being clean would be that he would want to see me again because we were really in love before he relapsed. I think he has unresolved pain issues from his past though (he witnessed a good friend committing suicide :()

In the 3 years since this happened I have dated other people and haven't found anyone whose company I enjoyed as much as him. When I met him, he was very together and he was also lovely with all my children. The problem, of course is that I feel that there is likely to be a high chance that he will relapse again in the future.

Would I be mad to give him another chance?

OP, how much of your energy and mental space would be occupied by this man if you were to get back together? Can you justify asking your children to share your energy and mental space with him?

Ciaoverona.
What I mean by once an addict always an addict is that I do not believe that an addict can go back to use drugs recreationally. That was proved to me by that one morphine injection which made me crave it again.
I'm glad there are other ways for addicts to recover other than NA - as that meets my needs I've never looked for other ways.
Genuine question - how is the 5% success rate measured as no records are kept at NA or AA?

Andante you are correct in saying once a addict always a addict my husband says the say, it's something that always has to be kept in check, a addictive personality doesn't go away. Doesn't mean a ex addict can't stay clean just means they need to work at it for rest of life. That's his view anyway.

Andante, really moved by your story, and the pp whose ex od'd.

The 'once an addict always an addict' thing sounds negative but to be honest, one of the main strategies to dealing with addiction is being scrupulously honest, realistic and practical. If someone has had an addiction, they need to acknowledge they will Always have a vulnerability around their problem substance/behaviour. If they don't, they are allowing themselves to be put in triggering situations.

Reader77 you are exactly correct, my husband stays away from even what we see as harmless things such a nurofen due to codien in it. He has to stay very aware of the issues he could have, and never put himself in a position. This is how he manages to stay drug free for the last 10 years, he is constantly aware of what could cause a relapse, that way he stays ahead of the game if that makes sense.

Thank you everyone. I do appreciate how people have shared their own stories about this. Andante - I'm glad you managed to get clean. It's interesting what you say because, having had operations myself and morphine I can remember the feeling it gives where you feel that all your worries are taken away and I can see how people do get hooked.

My sons dad was addicted to crack and heroin, was in 13 rehabs we met 15 years ago he had been in his 13th rehab was one month clean and he is still clean. We are no longer together but we co parent our child well together - he's now married and we are great friends.

Adante Studies have being done that suggest less then 5% will succeed using
12 step. NA, of course has information they won't release it.Other studies have being done extrapolating information from court mandated attendees and directly from 12 step treatment centers.

Hazeldon the gold standard of 12 step treatment now treats opiate addicts with subutex they had so many deaths after treatment they decided that abstinence was simply not obtainable that quickly. Are you telling me you NA knows better then one of the top addiction centers in the world NA would have you believe if you follow some steps you too can become clean the problem is not all addicts are the same that is another myth with no evidence to back it up.

In terms of this idea once an addict always one you have to understand how this came into being in the first place it comes straight from the NA 12 step literature there is no evidence that this is actually the case.

Ciao I don't think NA are the only people to believe the 'once an addict' idea.
Many people find this to be true, having s.u issues themselves or a loved one who does.

Many people find the 12 step program useful. Many people find other methods useful.

The challenge is continuing this (whatever way someone finds help them best to deal with their addiction) every day for the rest of their lives. It's really really hard. Hence the relapse rate.

Hard,but NOT impossible. It involves a complete lifestyle change, practical steps, emotional support and a HUGE amount of self awareness.

CiaoVerona
"are you telling me you NA knows better then one of the top addiction centers in the world "
I'm not telling you anything - I asked how the 5% success rate statistic was reached, but I'm sorry that my question evidently made you angry.
I can believe that a cocaine addict can maybe use again without becoming addicted but Im not so sure about opiates. It doesn't have to be heroin - there are many medicines available over the counter such as neurofen plus and cough medicines which can be used instead.
As regards alcoholism, which is another addiction, I don't know any who can now have an occasional drink, but that is not saying such people don't exist.
Does subutext have a high success rate? If so, then I'm delighted as anything which stops addiction must be a very good thing indeed.