Any single parents on here?? Needing some inspiration!

[gemsangels123]

I have posted on single parents but no joy.....
Just wondering what you lovely single mums (or dads) do in the evening or weekends? I go to bed at the same time as my DC's because I'm fed up of my own company and just completely shattered. My weekend is busy catching up with housework washing ironing and food shopping. I try to do something with my DC's on one of the days on the weekend but it's non stop! Lately I have found myself having a mini melt down whilst I fold the fourth load of washing or when I'm washing up for the 10th time. I'm actually feeling sorry for myself and really I have absolutely nothing to be upset about. I just sometimes would so appreciate someone making me a cup of tea.
Does anyone else get days like this? I can't seem to kick it and have been like it for about 2 months....

Hi all, newly single parent of three here (threw husband out for affair, alcoholism and EA in Jan and he killed himself a week later).

Mine are all under seven and I work four days a week in quite a big job.

It's been a steep curve for me but a couple of things have helped:

I've sat my eldest (7) down a few times to explain now I am on my own and so things have to change slightly and I probably have a little less time each individually and will get a little tired. Explained it would be fab if at the weekends he could help the 20 month old up when she wakes (7 and 5 year old are up at crack of dawn) and they all play in the eldests' room for a bit so I can sleep. Amazingly, this has been happening and they come and get me at about 8. Then we al get up and have breakfast. It has made such a difference. He has become very helpful!

I also now pay for a weekend nanny to do an evening and a full day. So I can take them out individually or just leave them all and go to the gym for an hour. It's been nice as I have Fridays off so have them all day and then all day Sat but on Sat night I meet a friend for a drink or go round to a mates' house and then Sunday, the day is a bit more varied because I have help. I realise not everyone can afford this but even a couple of hours makes a big difference.

I too have chummed up more with single mums and I have found it a huge comfort and lots of fun (we do nights out).

I do feel guilty about every waking minute not spent with DC, esp in light of the dreadful thing that has happened to them, but I found that not giving myself any time made me very short tempered and down.

I totally get the light nights thing though. I too have been feeling a bit down with the longer days and couldn't work out why.

dilys Christ. What a trial you are going through. You sound so upbeat and positive and such a brilliant role model to your children.

I'm sorry you had to go through it all, I hope the future is just as bright as you deserve

Thanks Chocolate. It helps that in his final year he had been horrible to me and neglectful towards the children as it made the transition less painful (I do not miss the 'him' he became at all!).

I do miss the life we should have had as a family but I had been feeling sad about that long before he died.

I think one of the toughest things about single parenting is knowing your DC are missing out on something they SHOULD have. This is made all the harder if you grew up in a happy home like I did. A bit like after losing a baby when you see prams and babies everywhere, suddenly everyone seems to have the happy nuclear family. That not everyone has that and for us this is partly because of the decision I made to choose that man to have children with, is a tough lesson.

A single dad friend of mine told me his counsellor said that 'every child eventually learns that life can be disappointing and people who are supposed to love you can let you down very badly; your DC simply learned that a bit earlier than others'. I find this a small comfort.

Anyway, sorry, this thread is supposed to be about practical tips! Overall, we are doing good. I find making plans (holidays, days out, trips even to the places like the library) helps us all feel motivated. The children seem to get excited about plans, a lot more than they did when H was alive.

Yes, that's right. He just won't have them. I don't ask anymore, no pint.
Dylys - it sounds like you have been through alot recently. I'm glad you are feeling positive. I know how you feel in saying you miss what should of been and feelung of thinking your dc's are missing out but I think as mums we beat ourselves up.