If you have ended your marriage and then agreed to have them back did it work out?

[HoppingForward]

Lots of years married, DC together, we have seperated for a good few months now. He has good contact with the DC, we communicate better now.
He is desperate to come home, I'm struggling on my own but if we tried again it would have to work.

It's been a lot harder than I ever thought it would be, but I couldn't put us all through this again in a outlet of years time.

[TheWiseOldFairy]

It's ok to have a wobble. I left my abusive husband nearly 3 years ago. Although he made me utterly miserable, there have been a few ocassions where I have wondered if I should go back. Mainly when I'm feeling vulnerable and overwhelmed and don't think I can cope on my own anymore.

But I haven't given in and neither should you. Both of us ended our relationships for very good reasons and the men involved won't morph into nice people if they are given a second chance.

Things might have improved for a bit if I'd gone back but, ultimately, we would have split again because I find life with him intolerable. The thought of putting my DCs through the break up of their family twice was what helped me stay strong on more than one occasion.

[HoppingForward]

Little dog is doing really well, still very nervous but has made her way from being a cowering wreck behind the sofa to taking centre spot on the sofa cold

[HoppingForward]

We went to DD2s parents evening tonight. We never went together when he was here, he was always working.

We knew that she has been disruptive and although 70% was very positive about what she could achieve if she put her mind to it the rest was focused on how loud and disruptive she is. He asked every teacher when they thought this behaviour had started to get worse and they all said around Feb (when I managed to get him to leave)

he blamed me for her behaviour deteriorating, asked why I wouldn't think about having him back, asked why I didn't want to speak to him during the week. He ended up leaving without saying goodbye to anyone.

I know I will now have the silent treatment. I suppose I was only answering his emails and calls to keep the peace, stay in the nice phase. I appreciate that probably isn't fair to him but it made things easier for me whilst I deal with all the other dramas that are happening whilst the DC adjust.

I know I've now started the nasty phase, he won't like being rejected by me and will focus on how it's all my fault and be as unhelpful as possible with the next school holiday. Part of me just thinks let him bring it on and the other half is scared of what's to come.