First date with the guy from POF. Red flags to look for.

[Inexperiencedchick]

We agreed to meet up this weekend.
By texts we get on really well.
We speak on the phone every day in the evening, seems fine...
He asks many many questions.
I'm asking for red flags I should look for on a date.

Thank you all in advance.

"With this one I was very excited at the beginning not any more... "

I'm not surprised after six weeks of "how's your day been?" ; it's not exactly the most exciting conversation starter.

As other's have said, you should probably try to meet up soon to see if you actually get on in real life.

I'm thinking of cancelling the date, as we spoke on the phone yesterday and my gut instinct tells me not to meet him.

What is the best possible way of saying it?
It will obviously be via text message as he won't call if I don't ask him to call.

I'm thankful for everyone's advice but I literally don't want anything any more.

I'm probably making assumptions here but he asks question in order to find out how much I spend, where do I shop, do I budget, how many pairs of shoes I have, etc...

I'm not a gold digger and never have been.
I seriously want nothing to do with him as I felt myself under the microscope.

It's not right...

Go with your gut instinct. Remember you are the decendent of ancestors who did follow their gut instinct.

Thank you Geek.

How to put it right in words?

Just say "I am not interested in presuing this any longer. I wish you well."

Then block his number.

Just say you've reconsidered and it's not what you want afterall.

I had thought of a red flag though.

I met someone for a second date and he'd got my Match profile pic as the background on his phone.

That's a red flag!

ThisIs, that's scary!!!

You don't owe him anything. Say you don't think it'll work out. Then delete and block.

You'll need a thick skin for online dating.

OP..personally I'd cancel the date. you are under no obligation to him whatsoever

There are certainly red flags in your last post, so just basis those things I'd not meet up with him.

Put this one down to experience, meet sooner with the next one, and only text with something you need to say. Crikey I sound bossy!!

Just giving you some wise advice having been there and done that.

Keep us posted

Just an update:

He wasn't lying... He lives where he said, pretty honest about everything. We had to meet up on Wednesday.
I cancelled it as I had hospital appointment in the morning where I had a procedure under local. I felt numb and in much pain. I texted him saying I won't be able to see him due to hospital procedure. He texted back asking how I was. The last text from him was on Thursday asking if I'm going to stay indoors... My reply was: "yes, I have cancelled everything" He wished me well and never texted back...

What do you think he end up thinking?
a. I'm lying
b. I dumped him
c. He doesn't want someone with health problems

No idea what to think...

I think you are over thinking this. Dating is daunting. I'd have a breather before giving it another go.

I supposed to be my first date in 2 years...

It instead of I

He ended up thinking you weren't interested. Simple.

I did text him on Friday asking how he was, he never replied back...

But your gut instinct last week was not to meet him! Why are you still texting him and stressing that he hasn't replied? Or worrying what he thinks of you?

Yes, I won't say I had instinct. I detached a bit, then we chatted a lot and I thought he is probably not lying...
I checked his info in the electoral register and he was honest and upfront about everything.
That's why I agreed for a date... But hospital came up and I cancelled everything...

I think, typically, you feel bad about letting him down. That he may have been 'the one' and you may have lost him because of your 'issues'. This is all part of the initial phase of OLD (well it was for me anyway) until you 'wise up' and grow a thick skin.

As I said previously, you owe him nothing. You courteously advised him of the cancellation of the date, so there you were polite.

You are imagining scenarios in your head of what he may be thinking about you. It doesn't matter, you don't know him and he doesn't know you.

He probably does think you're not interested..you've cancelled twice now. You hv 2 options here..1) move on 2) pursue him. I know what I'd do!

Thanks Will, this is what bothering me...
I panicked, was scared... The last thing in mind was a date...
I sent him a polite text, and he was brilliant in answers. No abuse, no anger... (I had people who verbally abused me when I cancelled everything... )
I don't even know what to do...
Part of me says contact him, part of me just says let it go...

Sorry I don't understand if you have actually met him or whether you cancelled?
You're overthinking completely. Dating shouldn't be this stressful before you've even met!

Wow this post is very

As brienne says, dating shouldn't be this stressful!

You've got 'too close' and feel you have to explain, and justify your behaviour to him, and you haven't even met!!.

If you REALLY want to meet up then choose option1..

This is all part of the rich tapestry of OLD. It's tough out there OP, so you really do need to decide whether you're ready for this.

Apologies..it's option 2 for meeting up

I thought you had decided not to meet him anyway? I would just leave it now if I were you.

He probably ended up going on another date and likes her so need to continue with you.

I remember starting to exchange emails/calls with a guy who I clicked with. Then we made arrangements to meet, but I then felt that he was too keen, texting more than once a day, when I was at work. On the morning of the meeting, I really didn't feel like going (especially as had to drive 1 hour to meeting place) and was deciding how to cancel, but in the end, felt that it would be very rude to do so at the last minute, so decided to go and get over with it.

The second I saw him I felt something and the attraction was immediate. We had a fantastic date and really really hoped that we could take things forward. We continued the calls, but this time I couldn't wait for a text/call from him! We met once again, but he started to act no as keen and then I did hear from him for two weeks and I knew it was over. After an email saying that if he was a decent person, he would at least bother to email me to tell me why and he did explaining that he had decided to give it a go again with his ex.

I did feel like a fool going from feeling desperate to cancel the first date to crying my eyes out weeks later because I was never going to see him again!!