New Baby and Discovered Partner on Escort Site.

[ConcreteUnderpants]

I have a 4 week old daughter (my second, his first) and just discovered my partner has been on Adultwork and placed several reverse bookings (where you state a time, date and what you want, and the escorts contact you with offers), emailed a couple of escorts and has been looking at local sex parties.

I am utterly distraught.

The past month, he has become more obviously depressed and down, withdrawing his physical affection and not wanting sex. Throughout pregnancy, my sex drive went crazy, so it’s not like he wasn’t offered any. He said he had loved me, still found me attractive, but had no libido, which made me feel even more inadequate and worried. He has been under a huge amount of stress lately (lot of stress at work, he moved into mine unaided and his mother died 6 weeks ago), so I have tried to be as supportive as I could be and not pester him for sex or anything like that.

A couple of weeks ago (not long post birth) I found he’d been looking at loads of porn. Obviously, being at my most vulnerable and shittiest, this hurt, especially with his physical rejection of me. I could see that he was just flicking through the images, so (stupidly) was reassured by his excuses that he was just looking at all these to try and get some of his libido back, he felt like it was something else he failing me at, etc. Apparently he couldn’t even get excited enough then. Anyway, he promised not to do it again, and hasn’t. (I have had a good snoop on the computer, so know this is true.)

And then I discover this. I am repulsed at the complete cunty fuckbadger.
He was on the site, arranging a meeting a week after our first scan. And again a week before our daughter was born.

He has denied actually following through with these meetings and I believe him (not least because he couldn’t perform and there is no feedback on Adultwork or confirmation of anything), not that it matters really.

He has emailed and texted me (which I’ve not replied to), admitting he has fucked up massively, declares his love and states he would never actually cheat on me. I saw in his eyes how much he loved me, so cannot comprehend how he could hurt me so much and throw it all away for something like that.

I kicked him out as soon as I found out, and for the kids, am managing to maintain my “keeping-my-shit-together” mode, but dying inside.

I am utterly broken. Tell me I’ll be OK.

Ok, so here is my update. Grab your slabs of Galaxy and ; it's going to a long one!

Had a fabulous time on Friday! First time out in over a year, but I made up for it with copious cocktails and shameful dancing! DD didn't give a monkey's I was gone and slept through wonderfully for my sister.

DD is registered with my surname and no father mentioned. All of ex's stuff has gone, apart from a few bits I found a fortnight ago. They are currently on eBay to help fund our long-awaited camping holiday to Wales next year.

I haven't seen the fuckbadger in almost 9 weeks now. I have had the odd further email through since then, but I just told him I wished he was out of my life and to not contact me again unless it was absolutely necessary.
I telephoned him 3 weeks ago to ask about maintenance. You would have been proud of me, ladies. All business and no deviation from the matter in hand (i.e. the money). Anyway, to his credit he said he was always intending to pay and had set up a standing order for the beginning of each month. He also gave me an additional £600 as a one off as I said I was skint. He redeemed himself slightly with that. He said he didn't tell me about the financial arrangement as I'd told him never to contact us again but did asked how my DD and I were. I just said fine. Didn't mention how he'd know if he had bothered to come and see us. >>preening

Well done.

(One point though - have you been for a quick sexual health check? (Forgive me if you said but I couldn't see it.))

Great update OP. So sorry you've been through such a terrible experience, but you sound incredibly wise and pragmatic. I hope you and your children go from strength to strength, you sound like a lovely mum.

Awww, thanks, dusters

cozie, got one booked for Tuesday. Been having pelvic pain the past few days, so I half expect it to come back positive for some nasties. It feels so hideous down there, I've shamefully put it off and been neglectful. TMI, but it makes me want to cry - all prolapsed etc.
If I've got anything, I'll be so upset. Not for me particularly, but for the fact that he could put our baby's health in jeopardy. Want me to update you on what the filthy bastard has done to me?

No need. Good luck with the check though - I'm sure the people will be great.

(Your biggest problem is likely to be boredom in the waiting room. Best take a mag or a book to read while you're there.)

Just wanted to say a massive well done on kicking this pathetic cheating hideous cocksplat out, OP.
It sounds like you are doing really well. Of course it's hard, as you say it's the man you thought he was that you miss, not the actual lying scumbag he truly is.
Fingers crossed for a clean bill of health.