Am I selfish?

[Lara91]

Im beating myself up about this but its making me really anxious.
Im in a relationship with a man who has a (now) 17 year old son.( he was 13 when I met his dad)
I have a 25 year old daughter who has long since flown the nest.
Prior to us meeting 4 years ago my partner had never taken his son on holiday..He made up various excuses (he couldnt afford to take him being one)
Since meeting me we have taken his son away on holiday for the last 4 years and for the last 2 years he brought a friend with us.
This year my partner is expecting us to go on holiday with his son again, but this time with his son taking 2 mates both who are 18. We stay in a family holiday home and its all of us under one roof.
Im so stressed about it.
My partner genuinally thinks its totally expected of me to want to holiday in one property with 3 older teenage lads who will be drinking/parting at night and lounging around all day.
Last year I was constantly picking up underwear and flushing toilets (theirs) and making sure my door was shut when I was in my bedroom etc...
None if them are mine and I think at my age if my partner wants them to come on holiday then he should be taking them himself.

Nah, fuck that! Firstly, that's NOT a holiday for you, and it's your family's holiday home.

And that's just a lad's holiday with you as a spare part getting in their way and cramping their style. And they can't make you feel like that on your holiday!

Tell her DP that no, you want a relaxing peaceful time alone. And not with 3 men, two of whom are strangers to you.

he has asked friends of his to come to your family's holiday home too. Do you really want a user for a 'partner'?

No I dont and I need him to understand how all this is making me feel.

With respect, you don't need him to understand how all this is making you feel. I know, you are thinking "if he understood how I felt, he wouldn't do this".

That may or may not be true - he might not actually care too much how you feel.

You need him to understand that the holiday, as he has planned it, is Not Happening.

Absolutely - you need to tell him to uninvite those that are not invited. And if he doesn't then that includes him.

The way this is going

Next year
Son +3 friends
Next year
Son +4 friends
Next year
Son+5 friends

Has anyone actually asked you if the current +2 friends can come on the holiday this year or are just assuming it is ok with you ?

Do 18 year olds want to go on holiday with their parents ?

I would start making conversation that your holiday accomadation will only be available to yourself and your partner next year