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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

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Relationships

Want a text relationship, anyone know any nice men?!

35 replies

OhHolyFuck · 30/04/2016 23:14

Through an epic phone fuck up about an hour ago, I found out ex-DP has a new girlfriend
Feeling sorry for myself and just want perking up, can't commit to a proper relationship, I've got the kids 95% of the time and don't want a strange man in their lives but just want someone I can talk about the day with so I'm looking for a text mate

Is this a stupid idea or does anyone know of any nice guys?!

OP posts:

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daisychain01 · 01/05/2016 18:26

Not meaning to be funny or anything, but does it have to be a bloke?

I mean if you are lonely, and you don't want the commitment, all you want is companionship and a bit of a laugh, maybe it would be less complicated if you became text-pals (the way there used to be penpals ) - that could be with a women of your age group, same situation, also needing a friend.

If you aren't going to actually meet the person, maybe explore several different options.

IME, OLD tends to get complicated when people have expectations of an actual "relationship" and trying to match your needs to theirs could mean you having to wait a long time for the right person to come along. Meanwhile, a friendship can be struck up at any time!

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OhHolyFuck · 01/05/2016 19:05

I guess, honestly, I'm looking for a bit of a confidence back in that kind of area daisy bit of flirting and getting used to talking to men again, you know? I never even looked at another man for the last 8 years and I'm scared and completely out of my depth but just miss some aspects of it

OP posts:

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MiddleClassProblem · 01/05/2016 19:08

I also think that the kind of flutter you get from a the other kind of relationship cannot be completely compensated for with friendship if that's what you miss.

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OhHolyFuck · 01/05/2016 19:13

Yes, middle that's it

OP posts:

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Lucky0707 · 02/05/2016 16:29

I ended up in an online relationship and it can get out of hand and when one of you meets someone else the upset can be very real i know that it doesn't make sense to a lot of people but you can quickly become an idealised person to each other. It will always end with one party actually asking to meet the other and as I found out after 3 years! they didn't want too even as a friend as I had said I thought she was pretty and liked her! I just really wouldn't do it. It won't help you and it can be cruel to both parties involved. I ended up feeling like something was missing as I had a friend I never met.

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SavageBeauty73 · 02/05/2016 20:30

Tinder.

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flatbellyfella · 03/05/2016 18:27

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Itisbetternow · 03/05/2016 19:04

I think online dating is good for texting people. Just set up very strict boundaries and low expectations.

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CherryPicking · 03/05/2016 19:39

Give online dating a go. Lots of people never get further than messaging, I guess that's what suits them.

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Shadow1986 · 03/05/2016 19:43

From my experience when I was single (ages ago mind you), men usually want more than a few texts. I wasn't ready for a relationship but always these friendships always turned into 'when can I meet you' etc. Unless they can see it going somewhere I'm not sure they would bother.
I would try chat rooms too.