Want a text relationship, anyone know any nice men?!

[OhHolyFuck]

Through an epic phone fuck up about an hour ago, I found out ex-DP has a new girlfriend
Feeling sorry for myself and just want perking up, can't commit to a proper relationship, I've got the kids 95% of the time and don't want a strange man in their lives but just want someone I can talk about the day with so I'm looking for a text mate

Is this a stupid idea or does anyone know of any nice guys?!

[Shadow1986]

From my experience when I was single (ages ago mind you), men usually want more than a few texts. I wasn't ready for a relationship but always these friendships always turned into 'when can I meet you' etc. Unless they can see it going somewhere I'm not sure they would bother.
I would try chat rooms too.

[CherryPicking]

Give online dating a go. Lots of people never get further than messaging, I guess that's what suits them.

[Itisbetternow]

I think online dating is good for texting people. Just set up very strict boundaries and low expectations.

[flatbellyfella]

[SavageBeauty73]

Tinder.

[Lucky0707]

I ended up in an online relationship and it can get out of hand and when one of you meets someone else the upset can be very real i know that it doesn't make sense to a lot of people but you can quickly become an idealised person to each other. It will always end with one party actually asking to meet the other and as I found out after 3 years! they didn't want too even as a friend as I had said I thought she was pretty and liked her! I just really wouldn't do it. It won't help you and it can be cruel to both parties involved. I ended up feeling like something was missing as I had a friend I never met.

[OhHolyFuck]

Yes, middle that's it

[MiddleClassProblem]

I also think that the kind of flutter you get from a the other kind of relationship cannot be completely compensated for with friendship if that's what you miss.

[OhHolyFuck]

I guess, honestly, I'm looking for a bit of a confidence back in that kind of area daisy bit of flirting and getting used to talking to men again, you know? I never even looked at another man for the last 8 years and I'm scared and completely out of my depth but just miss some aspects of it

[daisychain01]

Not meaning to be funny or anything, but does it have to be a bloke?

I mean if you are lonely, and you don't want the commitment, all you want is companionship and a bit of a laugh, maybe it would be less complicated if you became text-pals (the way there used to be penpals ) - that could be with a women of your age group, same situation, also needing a friend.

If you aren't going to actually meet the person, maybe explore several different options.

IME, OLD tends to get complicated when people have expectations of an actual "relationship" and trying to match your needs to theirs could mean you having to wait a long time for the right person to come along. Meanwhile, a friendship can be struck up at any time!

[OhHolyFuck]

Ok, will look at chat rooms, any recommendations?

Or if anyone has a lonely brother/colleague/friends, be sure to PM me! 😄

[ASpiderInThebath]

Awe bless you. I know it's a massive cliche but time definitely is the best healer. You've got through the hardest part now. And in the meantime, Google msn chatrooms and see if they're still about!

[MiddleClassProblem]

Just an escape, where you can be that but if you you don't get to be at work and with the kids too x

[OhHolyFuck]

spider thank you, that really means a lot (crying now actually!)
I am really trying to get 'better', tbh I dont.know if I'm just looking for a bit of a distraction/time out of my own head/somebody who doesn't know all the gory details, you know?

[Mooey89]

Do OLD.

Always starts with loads of texting and then if you get on well you could even go on a date when DC are at their dads!

[CrazyDuchess]

Online chat rooms - best bet

[MiddleClassProblem]

She had these relationships and they filled a gap as she didn't have confidence with men. She did it for 2/3 years and it gave her more confidence. I think when she changed job she just had less time and they fizzled. She has since met someone, 4yrs together and now engaged.

She didn't really have any negatives but did get swept away with believing that all they said was true (an early one said he was an astronaut but he fizzled on his own)

[ASpiderInThebath]

What about a chat room? No idea of they're still going but around 15 years ago I knew lots of people who had flirty chats with male friends in msn chat rooms.

OhHolyFuck, I remember your threads around December time when you were struggling. You've come along so much since then and are doing so well, you should be really proud of yourself (hope this doesn't sound like I'm stalking you! Just always recognise your username).

[MiddleClassProblem]

Plenty of people keep in OL due to insecurities with appearance or confidence, some in situations like OP, or they could be married, or in a tough situation like married to someone who has an illness and they are in a home or something.

OP just needs to decide if she's ok with those options as if it's married she will probably never know.

[ShebaShimmyShake]

Middle, what happened to your friend?

[MiddleClassProblem]

I think when it's jus online you don't go in looking for a set up, you just get in a chat room or such and start to converse then messenger. If it's staying OL, it doesn't matter too much what they are in RL and you'll probably never know

[OhHolyFuck]

middle I'd like too, just know no suitable men!
Anyone to recommend?!

[haveacupoftea]

I think most people start that type of thing through match.com or tinder?

[YonicTrowel]

I'm not sure that many people set out to have a text only relationship, do they?

[MiddleClassProblem]

Well the try it. I had a friend that did this in second life and was happy but did get swept away a bit