Happily single people - how do you handle the 'any gossip' questions?

[cavaliercleo]

Having been happily single for a number of years (I have 2 DCs, was married to their father and had other relationships), I am getting fed up with the very regular 'how's your love life?' and 'any gossip?' questions. And the disbelieving faces when I say 'No ' with a smile on my face, 'I'm having a great time, thanks' or similar. I genuinely believe I'm one of a sizeable minority whose default mode is single (but not asexual). And I understand it's hard for others to understand or believe. Anyone got a good response (without being rude) that I can come back with to these questions but with whom I don't want to have a major discussion about my lack of interest (my close family and friends have given up asking). Thank you!

One that works for my friends is ' I'm just enjoying being single at the moment'

I just say that I'm still very happy with George Clooney but we have to keep it quiet to avoid Hollywood gossip

To any gossip type questions, I just say a cheery 'Nope!' or pretend I don't understand what they're getting at and prattle on about my next holiday.
I really hate it when well-meaning friends suggest I try online dating. It is actually my idea of hell, and I tell them so!

Yes, I've had 'Have you tried online dating?' like I might have never heard of it before (I have and did have a relationship but got bored (again)). The 'enjoying being single at the moment' is wearing a bit thin after four years......

"I'm in a sexless but monogamous lesbian relationship with my cat" works well for me

I've been single for 2 years and I'm not looking. Focusing on career right now. ExH has a girlfriend so everyone seems to think I'm the sad lonely one when in reality I'm the happiest I've ever been. I've actually just got to the stage where I've said to everyone "stop asking, when I start dating again I'll tell you!" I'm probably a bit too short with people though. It does wear thin sometimes, as if there isn't more to life.

"No. Why, do you know any I should know? "

People stop asking after a while. I've been single for years. :)

Bewildered look and a cheery nope is what I do but am watching with interest for better ideas, may have to go with Pocket's suggestion, though as I have two cats it'd have to be a polygamous relationship

They will stop asking. I've been single 13 years now. I prefer it (no relationships but I'm not averse to casual 'fun' but nobody in my life knows apart from BFF).

Even my mother (in a violent abusive marriage for 40+ years but thinks women can't survive without men!) has stopped asking!

Sorry to answer your question I honestly say I prefer being single!

I haven't got any cats so that won't work (I do like them and would have one but not practical at the moment). I don't want to be short with people but it is tempting when the conversation goes on and on about your lack of partner (when you know full well that some of them have far from perfect love lives and you are probably enjoying life far more than they are but you don't fit with the norm). It's like the last taboo.

I've got two fairly young children so I just answer with "I haven't got the time, energy, money or inclination!'"

I am honest and say "I'm happier than ever just me and boys, don't want to ruin it, maybe I'll think differently later in life"

"The Judge told me to stay away from men."

I'm thinking of dating again on the next eclipse. I've heard it's lucky

I always just say I'm too busy with the kids, but if the right person came along that would be nice.

I tell them I'm saving myself for the millionaire of my dreams.

I say what Lynda says... Is there anyone you could introduce me to? Or does your husband/ friend/ cousin know anyone suitable? No? Shame. I'll stick to being single then...

Or sometimes if I'm pissed off with all the pquestioning, I say: I'm still single. Waiting for the great switch around when all my married friends get divorced in 10 years time.

I hate this. My gran is the worst. Every single time I see her she asks me if there's a man on the scene yet, what about older men, older men will spoil me more and have money, I'm wasting my twenties being single, every other cliché in the book.

I would like to find someone but I'm not in a rush and I'd like to find it irl not online. That's not anyone's business but mine.

If they bug you, make up something eccentric!

I say, 'Why do you need to know?'. They don't ask again. Or the other good one is simply responding with 'How's yours?'
It's fine you not wanting to be rude, but they're being rude for asking! It's none of their goddamn business.

I'm not suited to relationships, after giving them a fair go, with some very nice men. I have been single for 5 years, with a few dalliances. Close friends know not to ask as there is never any news.

I just normally say to people I don't see that often that there isn't anyone special, it reassures people that you aren't a strange freak, and masks the fact that you would rather chew your own arm off than be in the relationship they are.

I get where you are coming from. I'm happily single too. When my friends moan about their husbands and then ask me if there are any potential men on the scene I tell them I've been put off by their stories. But only when they moan!

Thank you all, sounds like we are all in the same boat, which is reassuring in itself. I do think it's rude as it wouldn't be acceptable to ask a married person when they last had sex at the pitch side of a children's football match......My friend said they stop asking once you turn 50 so only a few years to go for me!

I hear ya OP, this happens to me a lot. I usually say "I'm not looking for a relationship". Then I usually get "But it's such a shame!" And if they do push it like that, I say, "Some people feel the need for a partner, some don't. Different strokes."