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Relationships

Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Just joined POF am I bonkers?

76 replies

gemsangels123 · 27/04/2016 20:15

Been on there before...very naive at the time. It was definitely an eye opener. Promised myself never again but.....I'm feeling I need to get back out there and can't afford match.
It's got such a reputation. Anyone got anything good to say? Interested in good and bad stories. Need to prepare myself it's a tough old world out there for us singletons.....

OP posts:
DontKillMyVibe · 28/04/2016 18:34

I've just turned 38 and was 36, nearly 37, when I met DP who is a year younger than me

DontKillMyVibe · 28/04/2016 18:35

P.S thanks for the congrats - first child for both us, we're delighted!

DownstairsMixUp · 28/04/2016 18:36

This reply has been withdrawn

This has been withdrawn by MNHQ at the poster's request.

gemsangels123 · 28/04/2016 18:36

Smile aww love happy ever afters. Happy for you guys Smile

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gemsangels123 · 28/04/2016 18:38

Thanks for the warning DownStairs Smile
Well I'm actually feeling positive today. Thankyou all for sharing.....

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exWifebeginsat40 · 28/04/2016 19:14

I met my DP on POF 2 years ago next week.

there are some proper weirdos though...the man with the photo of the handsome young Italian on his profile who wanted me to talk about his panties was memorable, as was the guy who would only switch his phone on once a week to check for messages in case the CIA traced him.

all of humanity is there. along with men holding big fish in their profile pictures. men: this is not helping you find someone.

gemsangels123 · 28/04/2016 19:21

😂😂😂 love it!
There are alot in their pants....seriously off putting. Obviously they think that's what we like to see.....

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TheDatingDoofus · 28/04/2016 21:31

I have also been told it's like shopping through the sale rack!

That's where I buy all my clothes Hmm

Give OKC a try as well, and Tinder. Tinder is fun!

RoseBud2016 · 28/04/2016 21:36

I had one guy asking me to send me my used pants Blush....... BLOCKED!

RoseBud2016 · 28/04/2016 21:37

I bet he's still on there somewhere 7 yrs later!!!

VelvetSpoon · 28/04/2016 21:45

I was single for a very long time. Tried all the dating sites without success.

About 2 years ago, I decided to give POF one last go before giving up and becoming mad cat lady. I sent the first message (something I never normally did) to a bloke who looked 'nice'.

We exchanged more messages, then met. He wasn't nice, he was bloody gorgeous. And clever, funny, exactly on my wavelength. We decided we were a couple after that first date, which is 2 years ago next week. So it can happen! (and I was the biggest cynic before it happened to me).

JustMeAndHim · 28/04/2016 21:49

Also met my DH on there and expecting our first DC now. There are a lot of weirdos on there and you do get some very inappropriate/odd messages. I used to block anyone that sent me something like that.

Good luck!

ThinkPinkStink · 28/04/2016 21:49

I met my husband on POF in 2012, we married in 2015 and are expecting our first child this October.

It is a bit like a bootsale, you have to weed through the massive fucking weirdos oddballs and people telling you they want to 'taste' you, luckily I found Mr PinkStink who is relatively normal.

Good luck!

DartmoorDoughnut · 28/04/2016 21:53

Met my DH on there end of 2008, expecting No.2 at the end of the year and happy as Grin good luck!

AnotherPrickInTheWall · 28/04/2016 22:06

I've been on POF but not had many good experiences. I guess I was unlucky.
A few pointers...
Meet prospective dates after a few days of exchanging messages; if they cancel no second chances as most likely they are players or married.
Willy pics; never in a month of Sundays.
Keep initial meet up very brief, a coffee in a local café is sufficient.
Don't be seduced by anything they say. You can't get a real feel for a person until you actually meet them.
Look them up on electoral register and facebook ( found a good many married ones this way) You cannot snoop enough, so many lie about their age and marital status.
Take into consideration about 90% are not genuine; in fact a good many just do it for laughs.

I could go on.

gemsangels123 · 29/04/2016 07:08

Thanks guys Smile
Still feeling positive so joined Tinder too.
Lovely stories.....congratulations Smile
Thanks for the tips. I don't get many offers of sitters so time is precous when I do so I'm hoping to trust my judgement on a couple of messages....but actually coffee I can squeeze in can't I so good idea Smile
I'm a little bit excited...

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Calyx72 · 29/04/2016 07:30

Another one here who met my DP on POF! 3 years and I am just the happiest person. He is lovely, hard working, generous, funny, so kind, the best guitar player ever and I'll stop now so I don't annoy you!

I dated four people from POF in total and one from OKC. Fab dates, gigs, dinners, cinema, backgammon in coffee shop! Never had any luck on Match although I paid the fee. Paid for OKC so I could browse anonymously.

My advice is be open and honest. Even (especially?) if you have low self esteem or think you are boring. I said I love music/gigs and reading, films, backgammon and my now DP contacted me about my music tastes.

Good luck! And it is exciting. And look after yourself. Pretend it's your friend or even your daughter and you'll have no problem blocking people or keeping yourself safe.

Evergreen17 · 29/04/2016 07:41

Met my fiancé there
An amazing find SmileSmileSmile
Be very selective and dont do long long chats as some guys just waste your time
And dont be fooled by "looking for a relationship" lots of them will put that so girls contact them but they wont.
Some decent people there Smile just search well Confused

OnceMoreIntoTheBleach · 29/04/2016 07:44

Look out for profile bumf that is trying too hard. Also, talk on the phone and maybe friend on Facebook before you meet. Phone chats are so revealing of personality.

I got warm fuzzies when I saw and read my DPs profile. Knew it from the start Smile

Good luck!

LuciaInFurs · 29/04/2016 07:45

I met my DH on there in March 2011. He drove down to meet me on the day of the Royal Wedding (Happy anniversary Wills and Kate!) and we were married last year.

gemsangels123 · 29/04/2016 07:57

Awww I'm loving these stories.... no don't stop, keep them coming Smile
congratulations all......Smile

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givepeasachance · 29/04/2016 09:03

I met my bf on there 3 years ago.

I used to keep my profile private and message people myself who looked decent. Otherwise you were just overrun with "hi hun" messages from people holding fish or men taking selfies in dodgy bathrooms.

Most decent single men I know are on there, it's just a matter of being strict with the freaks to find the alright ones.

gemsangels123 · 29/04/2016 13:12

I might change to private. What about the pics where they have about 5 pics where in everyone wearing sunglasses? You can't really see them can you?

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gemsangels123 · 29/04/2016 13:13

Thanks for all your shares Smile

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isseywithcats · 29/04/2016 13:46

sorry gems angels just seen you post to me i was on POF about two years before i met the person i have settled down with, yes at foirst i was naive thinking everyone is nice, experience makes you wiser, and a few blokes who wanted to see me again didnt get a second date because my instinct told me no this isnt going anywhere, a few i thought would go further fizzled out, its swings and roundabouts with OLD