Sorry, I have had to name change and will be a bit careful with details in case this is identifying...
My husband died 7 years ago after a 12 month battle with cancer. It was, obviously, awful but I am now happily starting a relationship (well, 6 months ago) with a lovely man.
When DH was alive, we were very good friends with a couple - we went on holiday together many times, spent a lot of time together, and DH and I are godparents to their children. DH knows her from university.
This couple have now split and also the lady, lets call her Ann, has become more obsessed with my husband as 'the one who got away.' She (I realise I could just block her, but that doesn't feel right either) has changed almost all her pics on Facebook to one's of him, and often posts long rambling posts about her 'true love' and how she should 'have gone for it in 2000' (which is pretty much when me and DH had got together.) She has also talked about how she 'knew there was a spark' and I am finding it very upsetting. For what it's worth, I never EVER thought there was even the vaguest spark between them, they were just very good old friends (and I am normally quite intuitive about these things.)
However.... about the same time as DH died, she was diagnosed with 'a slow growing brain tumour' and this has possibly (although she, and various other also close friends, say her current mood and situation is not related to that - I don't know enough about brain issues to know how these things can work.) She is still working full time, and holds down a good job with lots of responsibility but is now also registered disabled and walks with crutches and lives in sheltered housing. I have moved to Scotland, she is still down south, so I am not able to visit easily but do tend to keep in touch via email at least twice a month (I am a bit rubbish at phone calls as I am knackered in the evening!)
I am getting more and more upset about the situation but now don't feel as if I know her any more. However, it's not a simple case of cutting her out of my life (which feels awful in itself due to her situation and possible deterioration) as we have many mutual friends. I also don't feel right talking to her about it as, despite what some might have said, she seems quite vulnerable and as if she is living on a different planet (her posts and things she has said imply this, I can't give too much detail) but I am finding it more and more distressing.
What can I, if anything, do....?
(thanks for reading, if nothing else it has helped me vent!)
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Ill Friend obsessed with my Dead Husband
CuspoftheWave · 24/04/2016 20:57
Hope you get a positive/decent response OP.
If I were one of your mutual friends I'd feel uncomfortable raising this with you as it would perhaps imply that I thought "Ann" had some credibility. But I'd be desperate for you to raise it so that I could sympathise and offer help. If I were you I'd talk to one of them. Preferably with 
.
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