*triggering* If you have an known abuser in your family why the fuck

[CookieDoughKid]

Do you insist on having the abuser and abused in the same room? Why do you not talk about the abuse in your family, with your wider family? Why do you not openly acknowledge what happened with the victim and their family? Why do you stay in contact with the abused? Why do you sweep it under the carpet? Can you not see that the abused does not want to keep in touch with you because of your lax inconsiderate attitude?

I am not a researcher. I am a mum who's ds was abused by her uncle and I am sick of always hearing the same on mumsnet that families choose to sweep the crime under the carpet.

I'd like to hear from you. I want to hear why you choose to do what you do as I don't understand the rationalisation behind it.

I've just remembered, DH told me someone in his family had been abused, that person continued to see the abuser and to take her own children there. I was horrified and asked DH if he thought that was ok. His answer was "well the children were never left alone with him." And that he had fond memories of the abuser because to him it was just his X, not someone he should not have anything to do with. Thankfully the vile old paedophile is long dead because I told DH that if he hadn't been there would be no well in hell our children would have visited him nor would I have had him in our home.

In my own family a family member visited her own abuser with her children. She justified it by saying she wouldn't leave them alone with him. Her reason for visiting? She wanted money in his Will. She didn't get it.