Would you leave this relationship?

[Andrewsgirl]

Fairly heated argument, I made him very angry, and he called me a stupid f**king woman. I have been in a previous emotionally abusive marriage and swore I'd never ever put up with what I did before, I feel like he's crossed a line. My barometer is always now what I'd want for my own daughter and I wouldn't want her to be with a man who spoke to her like that, whatever the argument was about, I don't think any woman should be spoken to like that. Should I just walk away?

No, this is absolutely not you expecting too much. Everyone gets angry and loses their temper sometimes. That's normal. But if you get angry and shout at someone you love (and especially if you call them names), the appropriate response is to go away, cool off, then come back and say, "I'm so sorry I shouted at you, please forgive me. Let's talk about this nicely." Not, "I shouted at you because you made me angry and I can't promise I won't do it again."

Why is it so difficult to walk away. Is this just me expecting too much and not being forgiving?

No. You find it hard to walk away because you are too forgiving, more likely.

You know you don't want to be called names. He calls you names, and furthermore tries to bend you to agree that you should be fine with him doing it. This is therefore not a relationship that you can stay in.

You didn't make him angry. We are all in control of when we are angry, or behave angrily. You were right to walk away - he was a bully to pursue you.

It's not looking good. He is blaming you for it all - for 'making' him angry ( ), for refusing to accept being spoken to like that, for walking away. It's all your fault as far as he's concerned -

Which means he is not prepared to accept responsibility for his behaviour, instead blaming you. That's how abusers justify what they do.

I'm not saying he is an abuser, but what he has done is abusive and continues to be abusive. You are right to draw a line on this.

Well done for drawing that line. You're doing the right thing and your boundaries are working well.

im looking for something from a man that doesn't exist

OP I've been with my husband for 43 years. Not once, ever, no matter what our arguments have been about, has he ever sworn at me, shouted at me, nor called me names. And I have never done any of those things to him well I sometimes shout, he stays calmer than I Because even if we're arguing we still love and respect each other, even if we have different points of view on some things.

I had the exact same thing yesterday! Like you I even made a thread about it. I was called a selfish cunt and was unreasonable to cry about being name called and get used to the real world! ive not spoke about it since to him but I'm at my parents to get away from him and u sure whether to go back tonight or not !
I don't know what I'm gonna do when the time comes to tell him I'm gonna stay here for a bit because of the name calling ! Let me know how you get on ?!

I hope you leave him, SC, and change your username.