How would you feel about this?

[Howwouldyoufeel0]

I caught my husband on an adult work site looking at our area, he says he likes to look on there for wanking material and I should get over it, how would you feel about this?

We don't have any joint accounts etc he has no access to my money or savings account and the bits of money I have stashed around I've took and hidden

Thank you so much for your reply , I'm so sorry you're going through a hard time, I just knew I had to do something or id be stuck and I'd turn into an insecure mess my last 'relationship ' well I was with him a year he had a wife and kids and I had no idea, it took a lot for me to become secure again! It just shows even if a man has everything (me and h had lots of sexs laughs and times together) some men just can't be faithful!

Well then you have even more reason to be proud of yourself.
There are some really tragic men about.

Your future will be so much brighter without this weak little man.
Try and stay angry, it helps

A massive well done to you OP, not many women on here have the same strength as you. You should be very proud. You'll manage financially and it sounds like your kids have got a stable loving mum to get them through. How old are they?

Thank you they are 1 and 5, I can't forgive this, he has made me put up with a hideous year I've done everything for him. His porn addiction, well I had to turn my head at that. He's absolutely shit in bed aswell, lasts seconds and i can't even feel it's in I'm still angry and pissed off, I've put up with his shit for far too long, we've had our great times and laughs I've always given him (and faked) sex. It's honestly laughable how dare he. He's what you call a 'creep' I've seen him at the start of our relationship chasing a girl who wasn't interested and even told him to get lost dickhead

waves hello OP!
Well, your thread was a breath of fresh air! I can feel your anger through the screen - but also your strength. I wish I had done what you have when I first had suspicions.
I posted my thread in 2013 a couple of days before I dumped him. I should have dumped him in 2009!!!!!

But I had a new baby, no evidence, a complicate work situation... blah blah blah.

I did my own (sexless) thing for 4 years. I wasn't suffering day to day... but I was overall. And oh the destruction to my dignity, scraping around for evidence!

When I finally chucked the cunt (3 year dumpiversary tomorrow!) he said he was only looking. I said "and only looking is enough for me to leave you" - and meant it.

Trying to ignore my bias, I'd say OK - there is a chance your arse of an ex was "only looking". As you say - that's a dumpable offence, who wants that?

But what would "justify" your decision to me anyway, is his reaction. Where is the understanding that this is devastating to you, the attempts to reassure you and fix things? Nowhere. Because he's a shit.

And everything else you added (my XH also shit in bed) well - why would you not send him packing?

Frankly, go you!

Three years on, and I can tell you that I'm happy, my child (same age as your eldest when this kicked off) is perfectly happy with two homes, and we coparent with surface civility

I can also tell you that I'm engaged... But I almost don't want to because the success story is being happy, and I was happy single without XH's shit.

Oh - I did find out unequivocally a short while after that he'd been fucking prostitutes throughout our whole 8 year relationship

OP you sound amazingly strong and believe me, you need to keep hold of that (at least for a while).

I like Cabrinha and you went through something similar. To be honest it's the headfuckery that goes with it that does the most damage.

In hindsight, I wish I'd just walked like you are doing, as the searching for more evidence is totally pointless. You know what you know!

P.s my ex was pretty shite in bed too so there seems to be a common denominator here.

I hope the house is what you are looking for.

He IS a creep.

Does he believe you yet? My husband didn't believe me when I said that I was going and was in total shock when I did. He didn't believe in trying or making an effort, had too many chances.

Hope you're feeling less tearful today.

Thank you for replies it's great that cab came and gave me her story thank you! Had a bad couple of days been at work 13 hour shifts, kids playing up older one asking where h is. He has tried ringing leaving crying messages on answer phone, his friend rang to say he was concerned about him I said nice to know someone is byeee.... I've realised, he needs someone to pretend he's amazing and praise him which is what escorts do! I'm finding it rough, I cry, laugh. Drink wine lol the kids a are funny though they keep me going he's coming tomorrow to take them out , I've told him no overnight until they have someone stable to sleep, don't even know where he's sleeping tbh