I know I shouldn't have looked at DHs mobile - now wish I really hadn't

[littlemissbossy]

I was going to use the phone, switched off, so I turned on and looked in his inbox - have found two recent messages from a woman - don't know who, only identified as 'S'.

Shit shit shit
Now what? he's out at the moment and will probably be half pissed when he comes in

mmm, good idea, but if you're patient enough why not get another sim card first and use THAT number, bit less easy to trace soyou might have less explaining to do

stop checking his phone it is none of your business

No wonder women get a bad name.
Catch a grip!

I'm going to ignore what I've seen - well for now
so I'll put a line under it
but before I do
cochlear - IT BLOODY WELL IS MY BUSINESS, IF I WANT TO LOOK AT HIS PHONE EVERY DAY I'LL DO IT. IF I GOT MESSAGES LIKE THAT, HE'D GO MAD!!

ok, thanks for listening ladies, going to bed
___

This thread is turning bizarre.

then why did you title this thread " I know I shouldn't have looked at his mobile" ?

The fact that he'd go mad is neither here nor there.
You should not check anyone else's mail, phone, email.

It's basic decency whether you are married to them or not.

oh and you'd know all about being decent wouldn't you??
WTF are you to judge me for being a little bit nosey??
aren't you the one who's been having an affair for the last god knows how long??

I am only restating what YOU stated yourself in the title of the thread.

Ladies this is really indecent.

yes I stated I wished I hadn't because it would kill me to think he could possibly have an affair with someone

yes hunker you're right it is
I drew a line under this thread but unfortunately someone won't leave it

Look, LMB has looked now, nothing can change that.

I guess now you know there is something you should ask him, that is if you don't think his reaction is going to be like cochlears. Have you any suspicions about anything in your relationship?

OK, this was bizarre-amusing, now it's getting a bit personal. LMB, why don't you just sleep on it and see how you feel in the morning

HIV isn't me.

oh sorry hunker, thought it was you

thanks ladies, let's leave this now

People have been a bit unfair on this thread to the poster.

Privacy is all very well - so long as we have nothing to hide that might harm another.

There is nothing wrong with other people being concerned about the implications that OUR actions might have upon THEIR own lives. There are emotional investments, time and energy at stake. As well as children, sometimes. It is like saying that we have no rrght to read our own - or joint - bank statements!

I do think that we make too much of this privacey thing within relatinships! So what if we look at somebody's phone or their computer History! Their really should be nothing ot find - shoudl there?

Hi MLB... did you ask him when he came home??

Agree FF. Lucky is the woman who is so extremely confident in her relationship and in herself that she never has but a momentary urge to 'snoop' or 'check up' on her partner. And once insecurity has been triggered, it breeds on itself so that you no longer know whether you are being reasonable or unreasonable, whether you should be suspicious or not.

People should try not to be so quick to judge others. Nobody else is in a position to know of the experiences that has made a person what they are, not define how one partner can make another feel with their behaviour, innocent or not.

a male friend of ours always calls me sweetheart and darling etc etc i wouldnt think anything of it (but secretly like Pandas idea)

I never checked on my ex husband but I think we both would have given the other complete transparency.

For me the most noticeable thing was they were Christmas and NY. If you're in the middle of a passionate affair you're likely to be texting 10 times a day so this cannot mean very much if there's been nothing since then. Also he'd be paranoid about deleting them unless he's an idiot so it can't mean much. Have you tried searching her mobile on google? Mine is first hit on google for that number although most people's aren't.

Privicysrivicy!

If you suspect someone is doing the dirty on you it's perfectly natural to be curious.

FWIT, me and DP are always looking at each others phones, reading out messages that come in. It's not a bit deal.

i'm terrible at playing things down, if something is bothering me i have to ask outright.

i call male and female friends all sorts of terms of affection, honey, love, sweetie, it could be absolutely nothing

but you do need to ask him now you are so worried

I'd jot down the number and phone it from another phone. You might recognise the voice. I discovered a phone number on a bit of paper left on the sideboard by an ex by mistake years ago and rang it, asking who they were. Ex tried to call my bluff saying it was a test as i confronted him minutes before i rang it. Turned out it was a nurse he'd been out with who didnt know about me. She was very understanding about why i had rung and while it was the end of the relationship, it was far better to find out sooner rather than later when I could have caught god knows what from whoever else he had slept with.

It might put your mind at rest and s could be harmless.

It only works if that person's mobile is on their web site and publicity material which is on line and then of course it just comes up on google. I don't think the phone directories have mobiles in. You can try 192.com where I look a lot of people up on though in case that helps. If you could or get a friend to call the number the person answering might give their name and then you can search that with town on 192.com (electoral role, and BT directory and also register of companies house registered directors). Of if they say hello may be have some story you can say which induces them to give out their identity.