Struggling to cope with my baby and feeling so angry

[SeaIce]

I don't know if this is PND but I'm at breaking point. He's 7months and still wakes every 2hours all night and is up at 5am. Often he's awake from 3am. He seems to grizzle all day and wants constant attention. DH tries to help but works full time so by the time he gets home baby is in bed.

I feel so trapped and unhappy. Today he's been whinging and crying all morning and I don't have the energy to take him out again. We have 2flights of stairs and the pram is so heavy and I'm so tired. And when I get to the bottom I have to put him on the floor to assemble it. I'm recovering from flu and now DH has it so no help for a few days.

I get so angry I go into another room and cry, punch walls, kick furniture, scratch myself, sometimes tear out clumps of my hair.

I just want some sleep. I can't be bothered to eat, by the time I've made something he's crying again. I keep making a sandwich then throwing it in the bin because I don't want it. I feel sick all the time.

Last week DH took him for a day and it was bliss. I met a friend and we went shopping. I felt like myself again.

I love my son intensely but I can't cope with life at the moment. DH says I just have to cope, that millions of women cope with this all over the world. I feel like I'm failing. He gets angry if I say I can't cope or complain too much.

How do I get through this?

OP when you are sleep deprived you have absolutely NO patience as you are running on empty, so don't be surprised that your personality feels warped. You are getting no stress-relief or recovery time. Do you have family or friends to confide in?

Lots if good advice here, a few further practical suggestions.

Will your baby take a dummy? You could try and encourage him to, hold it gently in his mouth for a while to see if he takes to it. Might be a way for him to sooth himself.

Could you afford a doula to come and help you - even if it was just a couple of mornings a week it might give you chance to rest?

Get the headspace ap on your phone, it has meditation/relaxation exercises that are easy to do and may help you sleep. Even if you can't sleep, lying in bed relaxed will help you.

Do you have a car - Can you leave your pushchair in the boot to save carrying it?

Buy a super light pushchair - I have a cosatto, very easy to fold and carry.

Can your DH take the baby for an hour in the morning before he goes to work?

Don't forget you ARE coping, you are doing as well as anyone could, noone can function normally on that little sleep

Dummies are absolutely brill. IMO it's very good for babies to know that they have a means of self-soothing. And if your DS is initially reluctant to try one, you could smear something sweet onto the teat the first one or two times you offer it.

Bottom line is, once your DS is fed, clean and warm, next priority is YOUR welfare. It's like the old saying goes, 'If mother aint happy, nobody's happy'.

Good luck.