I want my name back

[Flicknamn]

DH and I got married almost 20 years ago and after all this time I still regret giving up my maiden name. I wanted to keep my maiden name at the time and talked it over with DH then. Although he said that he would support whatever choice I made, he also said he would feel awkward explaining my decision to his family and friends.

I'm so frustrated with myself for deciding to give up my name all those years ago. My married name has never felt like me and I still sometimes sign my maiden name on forms without thinking. Ridiculously, I feel jealous of family members who have my maiden name. I also feel hypocritical talking to anyone, but particularly my DCs, about feminism and equality when I chose to take my DH's name.

So I've looked into the process of reverting back to my maiden name and it's a faff but hopefully straight forward enough.

I'd be really interested to hear any opinions on whether this is as big an issue as I feel it is, whether anyone has been through this process and how simple/complicated it is. Are there any downsides to this that I'm not thinking about?

I haven't spoken to DH about this recently although he does know I regret my choice. We have one DS (18) and one DD (14).

lionledge my mum kept her name. I didn't see it as a rejection of my dad at all.

As for title i still assume Mrs. I introduce myself as Mrs my birth name.

I know women shouldn't have to be identified by marital status etc but I like to be a Mrs. Probably a side effect of partriarchy which I should endeavour to reject yada yada but there you go. I like to be known as my husbands wife- but just not with his name.

Soupdragon, I'm the same. Not very attached to my surname and it's not a massive deal for me to change it. I figured it would be more helpful once kiddies were born that everyone has same name.

I've been changing my name slowly since I got married, still have to change my passport yet but I'll do that once it runs out.

Ironically, my friend is a massive feminist and always said that she would never take a mans name but the morning of my wedding she kept mentioning I'd never be Miss Dowhatyoulove again , always thought that was odd for someone who was so against it!

i changed my name back after 6 years of marriage, didn't suit me or flow off the tongue like my proper name did.

for the sake of hassle freeness i did it through deed poll, then it was so much easier to change bank/driving licence/passport etc. as they all wanted proper proof and i didn't want to send my birth cert & marriage cert through the post

"Then you've only ever heard it being said by gits.

Don't be ridiculous."

Not ridiculous at all. Gits do that exaggerated "Mizzz" thing with air quotes round it. Normal non-gits just say "Miz" A lot easier to say than Mrs.