My boyfriend called me a sl*t

[Tryagain92]

He's always drinking but for some reason he talks crap when he does. Anyway we got into a disagreement about him finding work and he said I am not responsible enough to look after myself and I said is that an excuse not to work and i don't mean it in a terrible way just trying to say i am an adilt and csn look after myself. Now he keeps going on about how much he does for me, how I treat him like sht and then he kept saying I am always acting and sounding sltty and that i am a dirty sl*t which is not true because I've gone off sex anyway!! then he brought up termination i had a few years ago which absolutely hurts as that was the hardest decision ive ever had to make .

I am now pregnant in early trimester and he said that the baby is going to be deformed because i don't eat properly and i don't look after myself and I've ruined his life! I do eat and drink plenty of fluids, but symptoms make me feel very sick and tired and i take my folic acid and vit d! I have never cheated on him so no idea why he called me them horrible names like i am guilty of it.. I don't know what to do i feel really down and i have to face work tomorrow :'( we been together four years and this isn't the first time. He's done this to Me a few times now. Im pregnant. Emotional. and i really didnt expect this to happen. :'(

Personally I hate hearing about men not working but wasting money on alcohol as that our tax money going to waste

I agree that you shouldn't take a non-pregnancy multivitamin as it will contain vitamin A but taking just vitamin D is fine especially if the midwife has said it is ok to take

Agree with contacting Womens Aid, this man sounds a parasite, a foul mouthed cocklodger. You will be more vulnerable with a baby, please protect yourself and think about getting away from this loser.

He's disgraceful. Saying sorry and promising to give up drinking isn't good enough.

Even if he changed his ways and was genuinely sorry, he'd be living separately from me for at least several months, and proving that he is serious about dealing with his alcoholism by working with the AA program.

If he can't do that then that tells you everything.

Have you ever heard of hoovering, OP?

From www.goodtherapy.org/blog/hoover-maneuver-the-dirty-secret-of-emotional-abuse-0219154
"[Hoovering] is an attempt to see if a prior target of abuse can be conned into another cycle of abuse, resulting in the abusive person reclaiming a sense of power and control by causing pain (emotional and sometimes physical) to a target.

Survivors of narcissistic abuse should not be fooled by the hoover maneuver. Such an action is not a sign that the abusive person loves the survivor or that he/she can change and suddenly develop reciprocity, authentically own responsibility for mistakes, and consistently show emotional maturity. The analogy of a vampire sinking fangs into the jugular vein works here. The abusive person may home in on the target’s vulnerabilities (wanting to be accepted, loved, attractive, etc.) and try to hook that person back into another abuse cycle, solely for the benefit of soothing the abusive person’s ego—no more, no less."

The power and control wheel

The cycle of abuse