Has the troll advice thread gone?

[WhoaCadburys]

?

And to make it clear - I offered a phone number where a MNetter could phone ME. I didn't phone them.

They were advised to do the 1471 code before their number so I wouldn't be able to save.

Now - go back to finding your real trolls (and remember that MNHQ doesn't allow troll hunting) because some of you have caused additional stress to some of us who are genuine, long-term MN members.

Since I changed my settings so that the OP appears in a different colour I've been quite surprised by the amount of OP's whose name changes halfway through, yet it often goes unnoticed as its subtly done.

I also think there is a lot of 'trolling causes harm' type posts from actual trolls sometimes.smoke screen

Agreed Nullipara, and I also think there is a lot of "troll hunting causes harm" type posts from actual trolls.

Some on this thread even.

They turn up everywhere, don't they Eve

I think sadwidow raises a very important point.

It's very dangerous to set up a certain set of criteria by which to identify trolls. Because you inevitably risk labelling real cases false.

Some people say 'it's a gut feeling', well it can be, but it's difficult to get a genuine gut feeling from words on a screen rather than face to face. Some people say it's 'threads that read like soap operas', but many of my friends' lives have resembled soap operas at times, complete with twists and dramatic new instalments. Real dramas look exactly the same as fake ones. And a lot of things I've seen in real life I wouldn't believe if I read on here.
Some people label threads false because of confused or contradictory elements, but those are key features of crime victim testimony for example. Human consciousness and memory is fallible particularly where stressful events are concerned.

We must be very careful not to create a set of 'troll myths' that resemble rape myths. 'If I know that rapists look like xyz, then if I identify those factors and avoid them, I will be safe.' Trolls like rapists don't hide in dark alleys and look like ogres, you can't always identify them.

Imo, in order for this to function as an advice forum, we have to give everyone the benefit of the doubt, and if you don't believe a thread, don't reply. Disbelieving a genuine vulnerable poster here, is far more damaging than wasting time on a shyster.

This is a relationship forum. Given the types of problems it encompasses, many women asking for advice/support here are vulnerable.

I remember a poster accusing someone as being a troll because they didnt answer their phone when they called from there special second phone for MNers

I was once on a thread where a troll (later proven) was denying that trolls existed. That was an interesting one.

usual I self-directed myself to the Samaritans during this last week - hence I am still here and sorting out Easter chocolates for my great nieces and nephews.

Can I shout it loud: MY PHONE IS NOT SECRET. It is simply a 2nd phone that I use when I do the soup runs for the homeless. The police (when we are trained) give is a second phone and personal alarm system. I only give out the number for my second phone.

My current grief is almost taking over every waking moment. I can't eat or sleep - but MNet is not 'there' for me.

Think about that!

My problem is that my personality, flawed as it is, does not allow me to ignore the trolls and let them have free reign here. The only conclusion I can come to is that the internet forum is not for me.

It's a bit of both. People tend to turn troll-hunter when they've been burnt by an obvious troll.

Some posters are so vulnerable that they need to be saved from themselves though - what happened to the poster who was sending someone monthly food parcels? MN surely have some responsibility in cases like that. Phonecalls are easily faked too.

"usual Wed 09-Mar-16 21:56:22
MN is an internet forum. Vulnerable posters should be directed to RL help, and I don't mean help from secret phones either."

This.

But I disagree that we should waste time on a shyster so that a potentially genuine vulnerable poster is helped. I still believe in the "if is sounds off report and walk away policy" combined with the "if you are getting too involved time to walk away policy" with a good dose of "don't give more than you can afford to lose (time/money/emotions etc etc) policy"

Just for the record WWK is not washwithcare person but someone else right?

Sadwidow have you ever considered that by given out the number for the 2nd phone that you are still making yourself more vulnerable? Perhaps less so than if you gave out your main number but still more so than by not giving out the number?

That's not the case for me Twinkle. I've never been so invested in this place that anyone has hurt me in any way. Some people just have a highly developed sense of fair play and hate to see the trolls win. Although I'm fast coming to the conclusion that it's a fight we aren't going to win. I foresee a future where the trolls will only be trolling to other trolls. There will be no one else left.

But I disagree that we should waste time on a shyster so that a potentially genuine vulnerable poster is helped

That's not what I said.

I have followed and supported on a number of threads - because I believe that I should pay-forward for the support I got when my DH died.

I haven't been burnt (yet), so I don't know how I would feel about that.

MN used to be a supportive space for me to read and engage until the Simon episode. After that, everyone became suspicious and I have had some dreadful PMs.

I didn't report at the time - but I will report if this troll hunting continues. Some of you are trouble-makers who throw the baby out with the bath water.

sadwidow I know you say you 'haven't been burnt yet', but weren't you part of the group that has recently said that they did in fact get badly burnt by IWasHap**? That was after you decided she wasn't non-legitimate after all.

I read the whole thread on that lengthy episode before it was deleted, and it's clear to me that a number of members of your group were deeply upset by being deceived and the nature of that deception that carried on into RL.

I feel very sorry for a couple of them, tbh.