Should I leave?

[PassTheWench]

I don't know what to do, dp seems to spend every conversation talking to me like I'm an idiot. He keeps saying I 'always' do this and that but it's not true. I'm finding it all so draining. He seems to be always shouting and really aggressive even if I'm holding our baby. It's got worse since I've given birth and he doesn't seem to respect me now I'm on maternity leave even though I'm paying for myself. I don't have a job to go back to because of temp work but he says I best find one as he won't have me 'sitting on my arse all day' ( I do all of the housework, cooking, washing up and looking after the baby. He literally just holds her while I make his dinner. I ask him to do more and he gets angry). What should I do? Should I leave? He been verbally abusive throughout our relationship but it has got worse recently.

(We have a young baby of 9 months and have been together around 11 years. )

Thanks

I know, but if I leave won't he get 50% access? That scares me as the verbal abuse and temper is just something I and his closest family know. His mates have seen it once when he shouted at me when hostile and drunk 'birds are just a pussy to fuck, who wants to hear the shit that comes out of their mouths' but would stick up for him as he is 'one of the lads'. I don't know why I am still with him. I don't regret my daughter though, she is the best thing that happened to me.

He is charming to everyone outside of the family.

That's awful Pass, his view of women will damage you and your dd.
He's clearly messed up.

If he were to get 50% access, it would still be better than the 100% access he has now

He is ruining your life; he is ruining your daughter's life. Don't discuss anything with him. Go to your mum's

He is zero help, actually a hindrance

Please leave you will rebuild your life and will be asking yourself how you ever put up with this. Big step but you will start to feel better as soon as you have made the move. Take care and make use of all the help out there, family Wonens Aid

I doubt very, very much he'd get 50%, or even ask for it, as the baby is so young. If he asked for it, and you didn't agree, he'd have to take you to court, and the court would probably decide that wasn't in the baby's best interest at present. Go and see a family solicitor ASAP - a lot of them will do an initial half hour free (and you can see however many you want to check the general consensus of advice if you want to be really confident before telling him to sling his hook. Good luck.

I left a man like your partner, very similar. I got amazing advice on here as I was also very worried about splitting the family up and disrupting my children.
I put money aside for about 6 months then rented a house behind his back and moved out one day whilst he was at work. My DC were 9 months and 2.

That was 2.5 years ago, I am so glad I left and have never regretted bettering my children's lives. He sees the DC regularly now and to be honest his company is now bearable.
You absolutely don't need to accept his behaviour.

Don't stay for your daughter, leave for her!

Please tell your GP or health visitor about the abuse and that he has sworn at your daughter. They can help and it will be on the record.

It's very unlikely he'll go for 50/50, and you can get legal advice.

You have many years ahead with your lovely DC: don't spend them being abused and unsafe.