Hello all, I'd really appreciate any insight here.
Since having children and moving areas, I haven't had many close friends in my town. Lots of people to socialise with and some good friends, but no one I really clicked with.
I met a woman 18 months ago when our children started school together and over a few months we became really close. She pushed the friendship at first, texting and calling every day and it built up.
We started having play dates with the children most afternoons. I love her. She's warm, funny and down to earth.
After a few months, she suggested a big night out, but then a few days later I found out on FB that she'd made plans with another friend instead. Bear with me here..I'm not 15 and I don't care about this, but it's relevant. When I double checked with her she said she thought I'd fallen out with her because I hadn't texted her for 2 days. I was bemused but told her I didn't have an issue, and I made an effort to be in touch more often, which set the tone for the closeness of the friendship.
For the next year or so, we spent time together most days, usually at my house. She needed a lot of emotional support, turning up late at night was a regular occurrence. I provided food, alcohol and child care during half of each school holiday. She didn't..but I had no issues with this as I was not working and she was a single parent, and I live right by the school.
My Dh, however, has never liked her and has said she's 'a user'.
She met a new man and is now pregnant.
For months now she has, I would say, dramatically cooled the friendship. We see each other once a week or so outside school runs. She texts maybe twice a week...yetshe says we are still best friends. It took me ages to notice as to be honest that's more the level of contact that's normal to me with friends anyway. Plus she's busy with her new man and coming baby.
But it's been nagging at me late!y that perhaps she WAS using me. She acts the same, very effusive, when I see her, but we have no real interaction beyond small talk...and last week she didn't turn up for our usual play date. When I asked her where she was, she said 'I thought you'd fallen out with me because you hadn't texted me for ages'. I'd texted her several times with no reply. Am I daft to think she's not being honest?
Now I keep noticing that she stopped coming round when she couldn't drink alcohol provided by me any more. That the level of contact goes up dramatically just before a school holiday, which results in me providing free childcare. That she has a partner and no longer needs to borrow money an d pour out her woes. That she has a trail of broken friendships behind her and I don't really know why.
This has been long, sorry. I don't mind her cooling things, but why is she still going through the motions, pretending nothing has changed and being disingenuous about why? Is she possibly just using me? I really like her but can't shake the feeling I'm being taken for a mug.