Are there couples who really never argue?

[thefourgp]

I've been with my husband for ten years. We bicker a bit and have the odd argument every so often but on the whole I'd say we're content and happy together. I was talking to a friend about a night I'd recently spent watching tv and chatting away with my husband where we just laughed and laughed together all night. I thought it's great we can still do that after being together for a long time. My friend who's been with her husband for three years says they spend every night laughing like that together. She's also mentioned that they never argue which I'm not sure I believe. I can't think of any other couple I know who doesn't argue. At the end of the day my friend's happy, her husband is a lovely guy and I think they make a good couple so it's her business and not mine. I was just wondering if there really are couples who never argue? Is it because one person always backs down? Surely you can't agree with every single thing your husband or wife says/does? Thoughts? Xx

After being in an EA relationship before DH, I'm terrified of conflict and will go a mile to avoid an argument (although secretly I do have quite a short temper). DH is Mr easy going and never loses his temper. So, we have never rowed with each other or lost our tempers bar occasional snapping at each other in very high stress situations (eg usually to do with being in the car and getting lost and me trying to give directions).

Even so, I can always tell when he's in a mood, just because there is no shouting and raised voices doesn't mean there is no grumpiness! It's just that life is so much easier without rowing in it. I can cope with occasional grumpiness.

We argue all the time after having DC and I don't really want to talk to him as he irritates me. I'm slightly worried that I'm making him the object of all my rage - used to be my mum, but she died so now it's DH.

I don't know what to do :(

I've been with DH 13 years and we've never argued. We have discussions but we're pretty laid back and very good at talking openly so I think that's the key.

We don't argue as such but we are both stubborn and a bit sulky we tend to seethe a bit and then it gets that one of us realises how silly it is and manages to win the other round.

We bicker constantly. Everyone has different ways of communicating and arguing or not is really no better or worse than anything else. I tend not to believe what people tell
Me about their relationships except laugh when people say they never argue and have only been together a year or two I also have a friend who "never argues"
But she's so desperate to be in a relationship she'll put up with anything

Lacontessa:( poor you. I'm a bit like that. It's tough

We argue! Not lots. But a big massive argument sorts out lots of problems!

Together for 9 years and married for 7. Very rarely argue. Get on amazingly well and life is very harmonious.

Wasn't always the case. Lived with an ex-boyfriend and fought like cat and dog. Good job I left as I may have killed him eventually.

My partner and I don't argue. We have done on occasion when the children were younger. We have 5 between us so it was difficult when they were younger and he was running his own business. We were both 30 when we got together and had both come from very confrontational relationships. I think we agree on most things and have the same views and opinions so that makes life easier for us.

I think it depends on who's deciding if its an argument.
Me and DH used to argue a fair bit, but looking back we were so young that our communication was rubbish and so much of it was crossed wires. We row now but it's rare and usually down to silly things like feeing tired / stressed. The big things are never arguments anymore.

However, last summer we were away with friends and we were discussing the NHS / budget cuts etc. Friend is a doctor and her husband is a nurse so it was a bit heated. Me and DH have opposing opinions and discussed them in the conversation - not unusual for us and I didn't think anything of it.
Next day me and friend are talking and she apologised to me for causing a row between me and DH. She seemed to think that because we didn't agree, we were arguing. She is a very relaxed, non-confrontational person so was confused how we could disagree so passionately then calmly go and sleep cuddled up together.

DH's parents 'never argue' but MIL backs down all the time or does things behind his back, if I was married to a man like FIL I'd definitely be arguing with him, he expects everything to be done his way and is quite controlling IMHO. DH and I have a more equal marriage but that does mean we have to fight things out sometimes because we are both quite strong willed. I also think that it depends what stage your relationship is at, you shouldn't really be having massive arguments in the early days of a relationship (although DH and I did have a memorable argument about Michael Jackson when we'd been married a couple of years) but I think arguments are likely to increase during pregnancy and in the childrearing years because life is at its busiest and most stressful. Once you are together a long time and have been through that stage I suspect that arguments reduce because life is easier again.

Flashpoints: travelling (packing/driving/taking public transport/finding somewhere to eat. We really shouldn't go on holiday!), talking about any important decision after 10pm, the day before my period. The rest of the time we get on great .