DH not speaking to me. I don't know what to do

[recyclingbag]

I'll try and keep this brief.

We went out with some of his friends last night who came back to ours. We are all really good friends.

I sat on the sofa with one of them and chatted in a cosy way. Nothing sexual at all but I was quite drunk to was sort of cuddled up to him.

I don't fancy him at all and think of him like a little brother.

When they left DH went ballistic.

He says I have no respect for him and can't possibly love him if I behave in such a way. He says it is the final straw and he can't come back from it.

He has not spoken to me all day.

I've apologised but it's not enough. He says he knows there was nothing going on but it was disrespectful nonetheless and we are over.

I am dreading when the kids go to bed.

I wouldn't be happy if my partner was snuggling up either

Some people are OK with the cuddling up thing with friends on a night out. It sounds like it's something you have both done in the past and it hasn't been a problem.

So why is it suddenly a problem now? What's changed?

I think you sound like prime candidates for couples therapy. I would find impossible for me to take sides on this one. It sounds like there are spoken and unspoken grievances floating around that could be addressed with a neutral person

I think lots of you are giving the op a hard time.

She has said quite clearly that this has always been fairly normal behaviour from them both during the relationship.

So they both do it and have previous done it with no issues.

Granted she's failed to notice in advance that the lay of the relationship for what ever reason has changed and he no longer thinks it's ok.

But that does not make her massively wrong for the action

What Wannabe wrote with bells on.

I think you need a good chat about boundaries. If you've both done this in the past what's changed?

Many years ago I did something similar and my dh then db, I was a teenager, pulled me up on it. I realised then that it wasn't as innocent as I made out. There was definitely sexual tension between me and friend and I think dh noticed before I did.

We had a frank conversation about our relationship, I stopped contact with friend and grew up and sorted out my relationship. Over 10 years, a marriage and couple of doc later I have never acted in that way again.

I would look at your motives if I were you and be honest with yourself.

What wannabe said. If the roles reversed there would be a massive chorus of LTB!

I went out with my fiance and 2 of my male friends last night. If I cuddled up to one of them, he'd be furious, quite rightly so.

It's really weird! It's really really weird!

Not talking to you is childish

Seriously???

She has cheated in the past.

She was draped over another man in front of him.

She never once said she does more than her fair share

But he's wrong.

This place sometimes.

It looks like you've quoted me and I suggest you read my post properly walter. The op hadn't admitted to behaving inappropriately in the past at that point. I said she was in the wrong for draping herself over the friend and understood why the husband was upset. I stand by not talking to someone as a childish response. Nothing gets sorted out that way.

She has cheated in the past.

Are you getting that from 'inappropriate conversations'?

Yes, I am.

Based on the amount of threads on here where posters are told that this behaviour is cheating, I would say it's cheating.

I can see why he's pissed off tbh. I don't understand why you would cuddle his friend though. I think you might need to look at how you're behaving when you drink.

So you both cuddle up to your friends?! What do the friends do, cuddle you back? Is this a thing?

When it comes to relationships it takes all sorts, I suppose. If you are all into this cuddling thing then Id say its worse on your DHs part, because its ok for him to do it - including having you doing most of the "carrying" in your relationship - but, when you do it he goes mad.

Anyway if you 2 don't respect your relationship, its unlikely anyone else will. & in this particular respect its about boundaries isn't it. I hope you do talk again and agree no more cuddling! Not on his part, or yours. Its causing angst. & if you can't control yourself when you've had a drink then drink less, stay within your limits

"Sort of cuddled up to" is not equal to snogging/groping.

Tell him to get over himself!
I really don't get why people are like this.
You cuddled up, so what.

True story;
I went to pick my wife up from her best friends on Saturday night. I greeted her best friend with a kiss on the lips and a cuddle. As my wife and I were leaving her friend put her arm around me and I put my arm around her and kissed her on the forehead.
We are friends! It's what we do! My wife thinks nothing of it other than that.

There are no bloody rules or regulations, no scenarios to consider and compare.

Your husband needs to get over himself and loose that green eyed monster!