I have been lurking for a couple of weeks but seeing your post made me want to sign up to reply. 2.5 years ago I went through something very similar. I met a group through my first my child, let my guard down and decided to trust these women). In hindsight I can see that the gut feelings I had about one of the women were accurate. The alpha woman was a very jealous, unhappy person and extremely manipulative and vindictive. She was unable to see herself in the wrong, always portraying herself as some kind of victim. To many she appeared generous, kind and supportive. These characteristics were a front for a nasty personality underneath.
I realised there is nothing you can do with these people. It's unfair but they are bloody clever and good at what they do. Only those who have their opens wide open will realise what is going on and most don't want to see it. Most will just appease these women because they don't want to be blacklisted within the group. I was a strong independent person. Happy to be part of the crowd but not to the extent that I had to conform.
In hindsight I'm pleased I witnessed her behaviour earlier because it brought an end to weak insincere friendships. These people were too easy to turn against me. We aren't true friends. Just like those who have turned against you aren't true friends. It bloody hurts. She turned friends against me at a very vulnerable stage in my life. I would never have treated any of those women the way they treated me. In fact I would always help them where I could and support them. Like you, when it came to my time they weren't seen for dust.
I could go more into my situation but I'm not sure how much it will help. Only to say I really understand you. You aren't alone in how you feel and it's really horrible. I used to surf the net looking for answers. I question now whether she is a narc. It would make sense.
Time will help you but it's frustrating dealing with the pain and hurt you feel in the meantime. Know these weren't your friends. We really have so few true friends, I feel it's something you find out the older you get. I'm almost 40 and I've been going through a friendship crisis of sorts for the last 2.5 years.
The 'friend' will never change. She will continue to hurt people the way she has hurt you. Anyone she continues to see as competition or a threat. The woman I knew was probably very jealous. She had an unhappy marriage, unhappy living situation and didn't really like the skin she was in. None of this was my fault but she honed in on me as a way to vent her unhappiness. I saw her do it with someone before me and believe she focused on another 'friend' afterwards. She will continue to go through life like this. There will always be someone else to blame for her problems or insecurities.
It's not fair, it's not right you should be hurt in this way. But like the cliche says. It does make you stronger. You don't need people like this in your life. I have concentrated on getting to know many others since. You should too. Spread the net wide. Don't expect anything. Just be you. Stay anyway from anyone connected to this 'friend' if possible. The more distance you have the less she can hurt you. It helped me. I cut all but one tie. I didn't want anything to do with her, I blank her if see her now. She means nothing.
Don't allow the treatment you have experienced to undermine who you are as a person. Don't allow it to knock your confidence. It is unfortunate but realise a lot of the 'friends' you thought you had were fair weather friends. They were only meant to be part of your life for a season. You will meet so many more people I promise you. You will have gained invaluable life experience from this situation and if you found yourself in something similar again you'll hear alarm bells ringing and you'll be able to walk away.
This person is probably very unhappy and they derive happiness through seeing others suffer. It's a great shame you've lost so many friends but try to get some control back. unfollow friends on Facebook so you don't have to be reminded of what they are doing. Don't engage in chit chat about anyone of this group. Put up a barrier to protect yourself and separate yourself. The more you disengage from this group the better you will feel.
Focus on yourself and what makes you happy. Stop looking for answers as to why this has happened (if indeed you are). See this as a learning curve. These people are weak. You do not need weak people in your life. You now have more time to fill your life with more positive people.
💐