How to move on from this- DH losing our money and the deception.

[OddsandSods]

I can't give too much detail as its identifiable but I recently discovered DH was stitched up by his family to the tune of £10,000. There is no legal recompense. I warned him in advance against trusting them but he went against my wishes and didn't tell me the detail of what he'd paid out until it was clear he wasn't going to see any return from them.

Basically it's not the end of the world financially although it's taken half our savings. We both work. For him it means he is now completely and irretrievably estranged from his siblings.

I don't want to kick the man when he's down and he's normally trustworthy so there's no pattern here. What I'm struggling with is the deceit in not consulting me before he did this, him going against my warnings and the fact the people he gave money to have proven untrustworthy in the past, that we're not rich and this is a lot of money to lose when we have a child and wanted to use savings wisely. I can't even discuss it as he just goes silent when I try to explain how this has made me feel, he also hasn't apologised to me. I think if he displayed some kind of regret and humility I might feel better towards him.

I'm finding it hard to be around him at the moment. Any ideas how to move on from this?

I thought you said you had £20k total in savings now reduced to £10k after your DP's handouts to his family?

Anyway... Maybe I'm the world's most conservative person, or perhaps you live in the world's cheapest location, but £10k doesn't seem like much of a buffer to me even without private school fees! What if one or both of you lost your jobs? How long would that money last you?

Is this just me?!!!

I can't even discuss it as he just goes silent when I try to explain how this has made me feel, he also hasn't apologised to me.

Have you considered your marriage is over?

Money aside, if you aren't allowed a voice in your marriage, why stay?

Bloody hell a harsh few posts. Hopefully the OP won't consider her marriage over on the say so of strangers and £10k saved when you've just had a massive financial emergency is bloody brilliant. Anyway, what do you expect the OP to do LaP? Magic the money back?

Try getting the money back through Money Claim Online. It's basically an online small claims court. It's very easy to use.

Well done Doubleuponcoffee as being the voice of reason. Of course he's in denial and trying to process it all before he's ready to articulate what's happened and his guilt/remorse.

Ignore the fuckwitt who thinks themself the expert on your finances and what you shouldn't and shouldn't be spending on!

Try getting the money back through Money Claim Online. It's basically an online small claims court. It's very easy to use.

If the money has been spent and isnt there to take back then this will achieve nothing.

Also it's been years since I did contract law but....In social and domestic agreements the law raises a presumption that the parties do not intend to create legal relations.