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Original poster

Can't believe his family

58 replies

MrsCadbury · 29/12/2006 16:12

On boxing day me, DH and DD went his parents house, we took along our presents to his family so they had stuff to open from us. His 9 year old nephew was there and we had bought him a playstation game his parents said he would "probably" like. Anyway we just assumed that if he didnt like it he could take it back and exchange it for something else.

So we got there, this kid (who to be honest I dislike at the best of times) was moping all day as he had not been allowed to take his nintendo DS with him, he was sulking and snapping at everyone until he realised we had some presents.

So after dinner we started to give the presents out, we had bought his younger sister a fisherprice thing which was quite big in size so when he got his present he moaned "god its tiny, why does she get a big one?" . His doting dad then pointed out that it was probably a playstation game or a dvd that was worth more money than the big present his sister had!!!! this was bad enough but when he opened up the game he pulled a face and said "oh great, that looks crap, I wanted san andreas" ! I was so annoyed at this point that I went into the kitchen and made small talk with MIL to get away from him. Anyway when we went back into the living room I heard MIL say "oh don't do that, just take it back if you don't like it...!" I looked over to see him booting this game around the room and DH and his brother just stood there watching!!! , I said "if you dont want it give me it, Im sure Ill find someone that does" so he just smirked at me and said "no i wanna break it instead" and started to drag pens down the cover etc to rip the plastic covering the sleeve.

I was fuming and told DH that I wanted to go home, his family just gave me mucky looks and when we got outside he said I had shown him up being so OTT over a game and that I should apologise to his family! We're still not really talking as I am so angry about this kid and DH just keeps saying the kid had a right to be annoyed if he was expecting a "good game".

So did I over-react??

OP posts:
tigermoth · 30/12/2006 09:07

I agree that the baby rabbit incident is shocking. Does this family have a macho thing going on? Do they excuse/expect OTT behaviour in the men? Is there an older male in the family who has a reputation for wildness but is popular and respected?

I too would distance myself from this family, and not want my children to play with this boy.

catsmother · 30/12/2006 15:00

No, you weren't overreacting and there's no way you should be apologising for anything. God knows what for exactly anyway ..... for getting the brat a game his parents had said he'd like ..... what are you, a mind-reader ?

And yes, my 1st reaction would be that the child's a total little shit too ..... and yes, I know that's emotive, and having to witness such behaviour 1st hand, my opinion would probably remain the same, no matter how much the logical side of my brain was telling me that such appalling behaviour from a 9 year old (with a history of animal killing at 6 FFS) is almost certainly due to nurture, rather than nature.

That may not be a very PC thing to say and I would feel sad (very sad) for any child who had been brought up in such a way to ellicit such traits, but sympathetic or not, I would not want said child anywhere near my own children .... nor would I want to be pandering to his spoilt tantrums by getting him any gift ever again (save for a charity gift in "his name" if something "had" to be given for the sake of family harmony), let alone be rushing off to replace the "wrong" game or anything.

Like many others have said though, whilst I admit I would be appalled at the child, I am also aghast at the attitude of ALL the adults present. First and foremost his parents should have picked him up on his awful manners straight away, the PILs should have told him off for behaving like that in their home if the child's own parents wouldn't/couldn't and finally, why the hell have you somehow ended up being blamed for the situation by your own DH who accuses you of "showing him up" ?

What is it with this child ? The above scenario sounds as if he is either the centre of attention, a spoilt little prince who can never do any wrong, or, it even sounds like all the adults might actually be scared of him .... perhaps both ?

Does anyone, (or has anyone) in the family ever comment on his behaviour .... which is clearly NOT normal ? Are there any underlying physical or mental issues which may go some way to explaining him (am thinking of rabbit incident in particular) ? Has any help ever been sought (from GP, HV etc) ? I feel really sorry for his younger sister .... she's either going to go the same way (if parenting is the major cause) or, she will probably become his victim in some way.

At the end of the day though, no way would I inflict a kid like this on my own children. Feel very angry for you re: your DH .... his 1st loyalty should be to his own immediate family, i.e. you & DD.

tiredemma · 30/12/2006 15:18

I find it very disturbing that he killed a rabbit, very disturbing.

If his parents have not picked up on the fact that he may have some mental health issues then shame on them. He sounds like potentially he could do some serious harm to someone.

tiredemma · 30/12/2006 15:25

perhaps you should get his parents to read this little extract. Might make them wake up and smell the coffee and see that they have an evil little shit on their hands.

{http://www.helpinganimals.com/ga_humanAbuse.asp\here}

tiredemma · 30/12/2006 15:27

{http://www.helpinganimals.com/ga_humanAbuse.asp\here}

sorry

tiredemma · 30/12/2006 15:29

oh FGS
here

1sue1 · 30/12/2006 17:04

Emma thank you for putting that link up. I am glad I am not the only one who cannot believe a 6 year old could do something so bad. I was going to say I bet his parents are disgusted with themselves for bringing the shit into the world, but having thought about the way they allowed him to kick that game around and try and break it, i am now of the opinion that yes, they are encouraging his behaviour.

Please OP come back and tell us how his parents and everyone else reacted when he killed that poor rabbit...I hope to God it was not in the same way as they reacted over the game-hate.

justbeme · 30/12/2006 19:53

Thanks for that Emma - I knew i'd read something like that somewhere - so it really is a serious indicator for the boys future.

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