How do you make a final decision

[Ramble]

So, life with my DH isn't great, no sex for years and we pretty much only talk about child and house stuff. Don't do anything together ( he doesn't do much anyway other than go to work, I work and do loads on top of that).
Can't help but feel
I've is too short. Child is almost of an age...
Feel like we are separate but still living in the same house, if I said it was over and we had to live in the house together until a divorce I really can't see how different it would be...other than he would get nasty I think.

Not sure what to do, not sure how to make that final decision ( the problems have been there for years, probably since day one truth be told).

I totally agree with you Ramble, I'd like him to make the decision too and just leave, but he won't as his life's too easy here. It does sound feeble though doesn't it...?

You start to focus on how lovely it will be not to live under a cloud of thunder. How wonderful it will feel to not check what you say to avoid nasty verbal abuse. How freely you will breathe with this emotional pressure is taken off your chest. How awesome life will be not dreading hearing that key in the door. How much happier you'd feel not sharing your precious home space with someone you despise. Not hating yourself for wishing he'd just fuck off - and hating him for never leaving.

Never underestimate how incredibly awesome reclaiming your own space and indeed life, can feel.

Lovely friend, I think if I could just step into the 'after' I wouldn't hesitate...

Totally natural to want the des ion made for you-it's massive and by making it you are choosing to disrupt everyone's life.Most of us are programmed not to be selfish and tor decide to break up a marriage goes against that to varying degrees depending on what's happening in the relationship. But you kid if have to see it as self preservation as opposed to selfish and think about the long term ramifications on yourself and everyone else that staying in the situation would bring about.

I agree conkers....there will always be a reason to do with other people that stops me...at some point I have to think of myself