Valentine's bloody nonsense of course

[RivieraKid]

Soooo. my DP and I have had an argument in the past because Valentine's does kind of mean something to me even if most people think it's just commercialised affection day and it's not really a thing for him (he completely forgot one year and I was annoyed).

He said back then that he got it and was sorry and sent me a text this morning saying 'i love you, happy valentines' - I said I'd love to hear from him later after work (we're in a LDR and don't see each other that often so I thought a phone call even just to catch up would be nice). He sends me a text after work saying he's off to do 'some things' that mean he'll be out of signal all night. Um. AIBU to feel sad? (it's yes isn't it, I'm a bag of weak will emotionally manipulated by popular holidays).

Doesn't sound like he's really into putting the effort needed into the relationship. He went 'out' rather than talk to you for 5 minutes on VD. Sounds like it's all about him. Move on.

Well his 'stuff' he had to do was getting fucked off his head. You're not a priority in his life I don't think, stoned ramblings or not

I found out last night the true extent of how off his head he was, he put himself in serious danger. I've told him I can't deal with it or keep saving him from himself, it's not my job, and that he's out of my life until (or if) he sorts himself out. I'm sitting here completely broken-hearted. IT was like talking to someone else, some monotone, numb zombie and not the kind and intelligent man I once knew. I feel like the ceiling's come down around me.

So sorry OP.

Best you know now though.

Yes nanny - I know you're right but it's so hard. He hid form me that he was taking cocaine and a load of other stuff, So hurt.

So sorry, it sounds like you are in completely different places in your lives. You're looking to settle down and have a committed relationship and he is wishing he was still a teenager in the 1970s

As inlectore said above "Perhaps his "gift" to you on valentines day was for you to see what this relationship actually is."

At least you found out sooner rather than later and can walk away. Look after yourself, hope you have good friends to turn to in RL too.

Sorry to hear this, but it's good that you live far away - easier to go no contact for a good while.

Who are these idiots who suffer from depression but take drugs that will make them depressed?

I'd walk away from this guy, OP. There are plenty of better men around. You're really wasting your life with him.