please hand me a grip, I can't pull myself together

[girlintheriver]

Dh left in December, ummed and ahhed about being with me or not until two weeks ago when he said he definitely wasn't coming back.

We've been together since school, we have three small dc's.

I love him, I am devastated. I'm pretty sure there will be someone else.
I just can't seem to pull myself together and stop crying. Rl friends have been disappointing in their support as has my family who think I should be getting over it by now.

I just feel so alone, I loved him ffs, I was happy (him evidently not) I've never wanted anyone else. I just don't know how to get over this, I don't sleep, I can't eat, I can't stop crying. I just want to feel better. I want a hug, I want the pitying looks to stop at the school gate. Even the solicitors I've seen at the consultations all have a pitying look. I am sick of being asked 'is there someone else.'

I've been off work since he left, I had a meeting with my manager last week and she said 'I can't imagine what your going through, I always think my husband needs me more than I need him so I think I'd be ok if he left.'
I feel like such a failure, I've failed myself, failed my kids and I don't know where to go from here

Feeling crap and low and down today have an ear infection and feel in a shitty bad mood.
It's hard on my own with the kids, he's a bastard fuckwit

Because you are feeling low and your body will have been through a lot of late you will be more prone to infections.
I really hope it goes soon.
Yes he is a bastard fuckwit.
Keep the anger it might help your adrenalin kick in again which will help you. Sounds odd but it will.
He should be doing his fare share with the kids as well.
When is he having them next?

He is doing his fair share when he's not working, but he's being very lucky that I'm doing it around his shifts and not mine.
He'll be having them again next week.

Feel teary and want to smash things

sorry to read that you are down in the bottom of the waves, girl.The waves rise up and down and nothing stays the same for ever. Zinc tablets are good for boosting the immune system , also vit c and d and lots of other supplements. Look after yourself and your dcc as no-one else will do it. Maybe a punching bag in a kick boxing gym?

God, when does it get easier? I feel so shit, it is so hard on my own with the kids.
How could he do this to us?
I just don't see a way forward, I'm not feeling better, I can't understand it, and how do I accept his new future that he's forced me to have?

Day by day get thru looking after your dcc and yourself. Writing a diary will help you to see when things are changing as it is hard to think back and remember the little things , such as kids had a great day at school, you slept better the other night, you and the kids made a plan for the weekend, you all enjoyed the meal you made,you talked to a friend who needed your support,you had a good workout,---it's endless when you start to write it all down and it has a positive cumulative effect. In the end , you can do it because you have to,as your children need you all the more now he has gone. So many men do this and so many women have to pick up the slack. It does get easier as the kids get older and do get them to help with chores ,it's good for them and you .