My ex and I were together for about three months, although we knew each other a little bit before that. We split up as we lived quite far apart, both had busy lives and to be completely honest - I felt like I was more into him than he was me. He's not at all verbally reassuring, he wasn't good at making plans, he needed a lot of solitude and I felt a lot of the time I was wondering if he still liked me which isn't common for me. He also said a few things a few times that led me to believe he wasn't seeing a future or a serious commitment. I had a lot of feelings for him so felt I was going to get hurt and decided to stop seeing him for my own good.
I explained at the time it was because we didn't see each other often enough. He was okay with it, he's a very passive person and he just said he respected my decision. I took that lack of fight as confirmation I made the right decision, cried a lot and tried to get on with life.
He does have a general air of "can't be bothered" with things that made me feel a bit like he couldn't be bothered with me and he's very pessimistic about love in the things that he says.
That was three months ago, and we carried on talking now and then and still get on very well but we haven't seen each other, although he has said several times that he wants to see me or get together.
He does a few things that just make me feel maybe there might be something there between us. For one thing, he messages me quite a lot. If I send him a message he tries to make the conversation go on as long as possible.
He also does little things, like for example he sent me a text at midnight on new year so he thought about me at that moment which was nice. He has phoned a few times and we've talked and he's said that he misses seeing me (not quite the same as saying he misses me!) and has also said he finds me more attractive than anyone else he's met before and he reminisces a lot about things we did together and says he still looks at photos of me.
We have both been on dates and felt nothing for the other person. He has also been busted watching my facebook page (as he made comments he could only have known if he was reading it) although we are not friends on there, so he is going out of his way I guess to look at me.
Then yesterday he just showed up at my house to see me and he lives over an hour and a half away so it's quite a journey. I wasn't home but he sent me a message to say that he wanted to suprise me, that it as very unlike him to do something like that but he thought it was the sort of thing I would like.
I was thinking that if he actually wanted me, he would have made more effort when we were together because he really didn't, and he is a person who seems to be happy with seeing me every two weeks and not much contact in between, which for me is not enough to feel close. I am not sure if all of this is about him wanting to get his leg over, or if he might have feelings too?
If he did he'd not admit it, but still have feelings for him so don't want to see him at all if it's not for the right reasons.