Can having a nervous breakdown cause you to leave your partner?

[66roadshome]

I thought my DP loved me, no reason at all to think otherwise, but he had a nervous breakdown and his love disappeared as soon as it started.

He says he doesn't feel anything, doesn't love me anymore and wants to be on his own. It's been 8 months now and he doesn't seem to get better and he's just very cold, unlike who he was and doesn't seem to connect at all with me since the illness came.

Can a nervous breakdown cause this to happen?

[RLEOM]

I had a mental breakdown and left my DP (now ex). Our baby was 3 months old at the time and I desperately wanted us to be a family, but my PND caused a mental breakdown and I left. I tried to talk to him the next day, the next week, and the following months, but he never heard me out, just shut me out and moved on (I know, what an asshole).

At the time, I couldn't see the light at the end of the tunnel, just darkness. Constant crying, snapping at him, being off one minute and fine the next, battling demons he couldn't see because I didn't allow him into my mind. It wasn't that I didn't love him - he was my world - it was my brain (And other circumstances) that caused me to behave that way.

My DD is now 9 months and my hormones and depression have gone, and I'm absolutely fine. 😊 I'm now having to process how he neglected me when I needed him most.

Help him as much as you can. If he knows he's had/is having a breakdown, then he needs support from his GP. I'm not a fan of antidepressants as I believe things pass eventually, but if it's been such a long time, he may benefit from them.

Don't give up on him until you've exhausted all avenues. ❤

[Zaphodsotherhead]

My XH did this.

Went into training for a job he was patently unsuited for (I asked him not to, I could see the writing on the wall). He was kicked off the training, having given up a decent solid job to do it, so there was no going back, and he had a breakdown. Started picking arguments (which he never had before), told me he didn't love me, wanted to go and sleep with other people, created an imaginary relationship in his head with a girl he barely knew (actually went as far as told her he was leaving his wife for her - poor girl had been friendly to him once and was terrified...).

I let him go. I seriously thought he would sort himself out and realise how great what we'd had was and come back. Haven't seen him for nearly ten years.

[bikermich]

I spoke to him last week but he's adamant that I made him unhappy and he needs someone who will boost him up if he feels low. I did that for years, but 2 kids on and working full time....I think he expected too much and has selfishly moved on to a woman who has no kids therefore no responsibility and they go for walks and to the gym. Which is really unfair as obviously as a couple we couldn't. We had interests together, bikers, music but he said he could have that with anyone. :-( . Two beautiful daughter's aged 4 & 11 and he's chosen the greener grass. Xxx

[Biscuitti]

This all sounds a lot like my life. DH has long-standing MH issues and has previously said he doesn't love our DC. He sulks and is angry all the time but blames me for it. If I ever bring up his MH issues he says I cause them and I just use them against him. He's medicated and has seen a psychiatrist in the past but denies and denies that he has a problem. Is this common? I don't know how to get him to take responsibility for his issues. Is he denying it to me or does he genuinely not feel it?

[Nimum2020]

66roadshome and anyone else who has been through this... Did it all come good in the end? How long did episodes last and how did you support them? I’m distraught at the moment as I’m being pushed away so coldly and it’s heartbreaking

[Zimp]

I feel for you both enormously. 10 years ago, I was a sociable, successful, life loving girl. In love, and married to the most incredible man who I respect and adored. And he adored me too.

Within 18 months of being married, I had a catastrophic breakdown and was diagnosed with CPTSP. I had been completely blindsided by my own brain. I was 29.

I remained in secure psychiatric wards for the best part of 5 years. I insisted on a divorce almost on entry to that first ward.

Why? I cannot to this day fathom. I intensely regret my actions, decision and the enormous pain I caused. The strangest thing to me is that I still have no idea why I did this. I never even wanted to break up and yet insisted on it. The guilt is insurmountable.

He is a truly decent man. We have made our peace and me my apologies through a few emails over the last couple of years.

I hope helps you in anyway or brings comfort.

[bombardment]

Yes it can happen but in the several cases I know of this exact behaviour it’s because there was infidelity and the bloke was too much of a coward to admit it. The resulting behaviour presented as a “breakdown”. In all these cases, once the woman had eventually had enough and moved out or made him move out, the bloke got with other women quickly. It’s happened to 3 people I know and it’s the exact same story just slightly tweaked. Are you sure he hasn’t cheated on you but can’t admit it? In one case, the bloke had caught something nasty from the affair partner and so behaved like this to prevent affection/intimacy so his wife wouldn’t see his bits and realise.

[Helpots]

Hi just wondering if you’re still on this thread and what your outcome was - I’m in a similar position, my husband left me 6 weeks ago, doesn’t love me, wants to permanently separate, doesn’t want to divorce yet, not agreeable to sorting out the house