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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Do I get valentines gift for new boyfriend?

30 replies

Startingout2015 · 08/02/2016 21:39

I am in a newish relationship and was wondering what the done thing is now with buying valentines gifts for boyfriends ?

OP posts:
TheNaze73 · 08/02/2016 22:05

I wouldn't expect anything from a woman on Valentine's Day.

mrsmeerkat · 08/02/2016 22:11

How new? I think I wouldn't get anything but maybe if he turns up with a gift and you feel you want to return the favour - treat him to something to eat on your next night out. or get him something like his favourite drink or something casual

billybunter4 · 08/02/2016 22:16

I'm in a newish relationship too and I'm definately getting him presents. We are only 3 months but head-over-heels. I know he's pushing the boat out for me with a whole day of fun.

Startingout2015 · 08/02/2016 22:18

It's just 3 months for us too.

He is very romantic normally which makes me think he probably won't make a big deal out of the day.

Id be worried of going all out if he doesn't think it's important and make him feel uncomfortable

OP posts:
Startingout2015 · 08/02/2016 22:20

We are very much equal when it comes to dates and take it in turns to organise plan and pay for them and have dates around 4 times a week, so maybe valentines might be pushing it a bit far perhaps

OP posts:
bb888 · 08/02/2016 22:20

If its 3 months and he is normally very romantic isn't he likely to do something for Valentines?

honeyroar · 08/02/2016 22:21

How new is newish? If you're definitely decided you're exclusive and it's your first valentines together then yes you should do something. It's about the only time my husband and I other editors, the first year. Just a card, a treat and a nice meal perhaps?

honeyroar · 08/02/2016 22:22

Sorry, cross posted. Why not ask him? Do you fancy doing something for valentines...?

Costacoffeeplease · 08/02/2016 22:23

Have something in reserve? Even just a card and voucher for date night/massage/dinner at yours? Whatever he might appreciate

gunting · 08/02/2016 22:24

I think in a any relationship spending time together is much more important than gifts.

Maybe get him a nice card and offer to cook him dinner and spend a nice evening together.

goddessofsmallthings · 08/02/2016 22:24

Buy him a jokey card and a bar of Lush soap to wash his mouth out if he says the 'L' word. Grin

If you're still together in Feb 2017 you can buy him a less jokey card and put more thought into a suitable gift, but the object of this year's exercise is to simply have something to hand if he produces a card and a bunch of red roses/box of chocs for you on the day.

NeedAScarfForMyGiraffe · 08/02/2016 22:27

This reply has been deleted

Message withdrawn at poster's request.

Lovelydiscusfish · 08/02/2016 22:31

I'd get something inexpensive and fun. A small treat you know he might like, for example? Or a token thing.
I remember that for my now dh, we had only been together for a month or so on our first Valentine's day, so I just got him one of the artificial roses that the students in the place I work were selling for charity.
I can also remember going with a friend, who was anxious about this issue, to get her boyfriend an iced cookie with an affectionate yet relatively bland message, in similar circumstances.
I agree it's a tricky one. You want to mark the occasion, but not seem excessively full-on.

TokenGinger · 08/02/2016 22:32

Bake some cupcakes? Homemade gifts are always really sweet but can also be played down if he doesn't make a massive effort.

mrsmeerkat · 08/02/2016 22:39

He is highly likely to buy you flowers if it is 3 months.

Think I would get something for him. If it were a month - I probably wouldn't .

Is he into anything? Hat, keyring and chocs, costa voucher, one of those spiralizers if he is into cooking? Something from ikea for his house

😆

FrogFairy · 09/02/2016 01:17

A gift bag filled with sweets he may have liked as a kid?

ThisIsStillFolkGirl · 09/02/2016 06:04

A couple of years ago I had a bf of 3 months on valentine's day. I don't 'do' valentine's day, but I did bake him a cake. He really liked it.

PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 09/02/2016 06:19
  1. Wait until he's asleep, then take a selfie of the two of you.
  1. Print it.
  1. Find or make a glitter frame, put "[name] & [name] - 2gether 4ever" on it, in rhinestones. (Yes, I'm channelling Janice)
  1. Enjoy the man-shaped hole in the door. Grin
PreemptiveSalvageEngineer · 09/02/2016 06:32

Anyway, just kidding. Small and thoughtful is the way to go here. How about a tin of some fancy designer coffee or cocoa (depending on what he drinks). Or, if he does outdoorsy things, those hand-warmers you can microwave. Or heart-shaped biccies you've made. What you want to avoid (apart from the afore-mentioned crazies Smile) is anything he might feel pressured to put on display in his home or workplace. The things I suggested are either consumables (1.2. & 4.) or can go in pockets and are, at essence "useful" (3.) rather than ornamental.

Joysmum · 09/02/2016 08:58

I don't do gifts for my DH, never have done.

We do cards and then do something special on a weekend near to Valentines or wait for our anniversary if we want to do something more pricey.

But then, I've never been a fan of gifts and have always preferred to live life making memories instead.

Oysterbabe · 09/02/2016 08:59

Just get him a card and M&S dine in meal. Wear lacy pants :)

Trills · 09/02/2016 09:07

the object of this year's exercise is to simply have something to hand if he produces a card and a bunch of red roses/box of chocs for you on the day.

Good description.

Crazycatladynumber2 · 09/02/2016 12:18

At 3 months into my relationship it was Valentine's Day and my partner decided to go big...so he proposed.
A year later we got married on Valentine's Day and this year it's our 5th anniversary.
Never really cared about Valentine's Day until then Grin

RedMapleLeaf · 09/02/2016 13:45

Ask him what he thinks and what he'd like or what his expectations are.

At 3 months I think that a card and small, thoughtful or silly gift is about right.

Cabrinha · 09/02/2016 15:45

4 months here, and I've been dumped because of Valentine's in the past, not once but twice ConfusedGrin

I think it's crap (even before the dumping) - I'm all about year round spontaneity.

I was going to pre-empt and say "no to Valentine's, ta" but am thinking that it's not fair to take it from him arbitrarily if he likes it.

I have a card with two tomato people on it that says "I love you to from my head tomatoes" and will put a single small heart shaped chocolate inside. Job done.