Quick engagement?

[Lappydoodaa]

Is anyone out there still happily together with their dh many years after a fast engagement?

Got engaged on Valentines day, we got married 6 months later and still together 44 years later. My DD got married the day after Valentines day.

Why get engaged if you don't want to get married for a long time? Do you mean it feels so 'right' that you feel like it warrants something big, and it would be a big declaration of love/intent?

Hope it works out

I hope it works out for you op. Are you absolutely sure your bf is on the same page? What happens if he doesn't propose, will you be gutted? It could taint/ruin your first Valentines together. Try not to get your hopes up too high just incase.

We got engaged after 3 months, married within the year. 10th wedding anniversary this Thursday 😊

Met in December, engaged in Jan, Married in Feb been together 2 years :o

that should be 20 years!

I know a couple that met and married within 6 weeks. They had to apply for a special license so they could marry quickly. They're still together 40 years later.

My parents got married after three months, and are still going strong 37 years later.

My friend got engaged after three weeks and divorced after 18 months of marriage.

Both couples 'just knew' -- I guess one was right and one wasn't.

I don't want to sound like a killjoy, but if someone is The One they will still be right for you if you wait a bit before getting married, having a child or buying a house together. If they aren't The One (and really, honestly, how much can you know someone in a few weeks?) then give yourself the best possible shot of finding that out before getting into something it will be tricky to get out of. Why not try to just enjoy being his girlfriend and having this wonderful new love, without rushing into being a fiancee and then a wife?

(I know I sound like a crusty old cynic -- sorry!)

some people just have an excellent instinct about romantic partners, so not knowing ALL about them is no obstacle to know this person is right for you. Most people though make mistakes with such leaps of faith - misleading hormones or just a desire to fall in love etc.

Friend was CONVINCED her dp was going to propose at xmas/new year

He didn't

Don't get your hopes up!

but maybe OP is planning to propose (after all it's a leap year)!

Got engaged after 8 weeks, still together 17 years and 4 kids later but we were mid- to late-thirties and both had enough experience to know what we wanted and recognise it when we found it.

If I'd got engaged that fast when I was younger I suspect the outcome would have been different (just speaking for myself - you might be different).

Whether people 'know' or not early in a relationship isn't always a guarantee. Time /experience/individuals are the real determining facts. Have a look on the relationships board, how many people on there thought their oh was 'The One'. Hindsight is always clearer. Most people have been shocked to be dumped by someone they thought was 'The One' at some point in their life.

I know of a couple who got engaged after 2 weeks. They got married and it lasted 12 years. They separated a few years ago.

I know of a couple who got married after 1 month. They have been happily married 38 years.

My bf's friend thought her bf of 3 weeks was 'The One'. They were smitten with one another. She made a comment on Facebook to him about how she saw their relationship lasting for eternity. He dumped her by text. I suspect he is still running somewhere in the hills far far away

The thing is, you don't know what trials life is going to throw at you, so imo it makes no difference whether you've been together a short or long time - how your life pans out depends on what happens in it and how you/your spouse react to those events.

I have to say if any of my DCs came home starry eyed after 6 weeks with a new BF/GF to announce their undying love and intentions to marry, I would probably be a massive hypocrite and be horrified

Seriously though, my advice to them will be not to buy a property or - especially this, have a child - until they have lived with their partner and know them very well and really know their attitudes to child raising/work/money/relationships. Engagement rings and rental tenancies are undone much more easily at least. I did fall in love immediately (and luckily we withstood the test of time, so far anyway) but we still waited to have DC and I'm glad we did.

I also think being kind is one of the most important qualities in a partner. If they are generous and kind in themselves it's a good thing.

So basically I will just be advising my DCs to rent somewhere with their BF/ GF for at least six months and check they are kind and not a fuckwit, then they can go for it

We met as teenagers and said we would marry a few days after meeting. Engaged a few weeks later, married the next year. I am just a great judge of character.

We got engaged after a few weeks and married 2 months later. We have been married 12 years and have four children! We are happily married and best friends.

Can"t help you there OP. The engagement was short and the marriage was way too long, thankfully now ended. The extra time would have given me the chance to see MIL's true colours which were heavily concealed by the rest of her family.

I have lived and learnt

I think it's pretty meaningless to get engaged with no immediate intention to get married.
We were married within 2 years of meeting and I then got pregnant on honeymoon. Our baby is 5 weeks. It's been a whirlwind and it's early days but so far so good!

we were married 5 months after meeting, just celebrated our 25th wedding anniversary. And no - I wasn't pregnant!

The thing is, you don't know what trials life is going to throw at you, so imo it makes no difference whether you've been together a short or long time

I agree that there is no way to totally guarantee how your life with your partner with unfold.

But I disagree that therefore it 'makes no difference' how long you've known each other before you commit. The idea is to give yourself a reasonable length of time to see what this person is actually like -- not how they behave at the start of the relationship when they're all loved up and full of hormones, but how they actually treat you day-to-day, how well you can fit into each others lives, how you cope when one of you is ill/down/has something bad happen to you, etc.

It's a bit like Pascal's wager -- the possible outcomes are:

1. You can think they're the one and marry them straight away. If you're right, yahtzee! You're married to your soulmate.

2. You can think they're the one and wait until you've lived together for a year (or longer) before you get married. If you're right, yahtzee! You're married to your soulmate.

3)You can think they're the one and marry them straight away. If you're wrong, you then have to get divorced. Boo.

4)You can think they're the one and wait until you've lived together for a year (or longer) before you get married. If you find out you're wrong in that time, you can end the relationship.

There's no advantage to picking number 1 over number 2, but there is a massive advantage in picking number 4 over number 3. It all hinges on whether you're RIGHT about them being The One, and that's something you can't be sure of.

Give yourself the best possible chance of marrying the right person -- what's the rush?

Some people just know immediately though.

Dbil told my now deceased mum that he would marry my dsis after 3 weeks of meeting her. 24 years and they are still happily together. Mum died a few months after they got together and dsis loves that mum knew her future dh.

I met my husband and spent 1 week with him on holiday, then I went home. 3 months later I moved to be with him and he had bought me a ring when I arrived.

We were married 11 months later and our first daughter was born 6 weeks after tha, pretty much 1 year to the day I moved out to be with him.

We have now been together for 13 years.

For us the long engagement was because we wanted our wedding to have people there that were happy for us rather than skeptical! It wasn't about testing the relationship in any way. And despite falling into the ridiculously fast engagement category I do agree it's not always the best of ideas. To be honest, if I hadn't blurted it out by mistake I'm not sure our relationship would be any different, and we would have likely got engaged at a more "normal" time frame. At the time I felt it gave me an element of security that helped with my own rampant insecurity and general fuck-ups, but in hindsight that's more likely the result of the good relationship.