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Mumsnet has not checked the qualifications of anyone posting here. If you need help urgently or expert advice, please see our domestic violence webguide and/or relationships webguide. Many Mumsnetters experiencing domestic abuse have found this thread helpful: Listen up, everybody

Original poster

he won't leave

39 replies

Lovelilies2 · 25/01/2016 21:38

Ex DP has decided to come back to our house because his flats being decorated and he can't stay there with the paint fumes Hmm

He has a history of domestic abuse , emotional, physical (claimed it was an accident) financial.

I am in the process of buying my own house for me and dcs which will hopefully complete next week but needs money spending on it to make it habitable, I'm aiming to be out of here in 2 months.

He's just said he has every right to be here. Plan was he will leave on Wednesday... What shall I do if he doesn't? DD is staying at my mums because she doesn't want to see him Sad

OP posts:
LeaLeander · 26/01/2016 08:45

Good luck OP. Stop talking to him and revealing your plans. Just get to your mother's house.

Original poster
Lovelilies2 · 26/01/2016 10:10

My mum won't have us (no room) and is angry with him. Thinks we should stay in the house and he goes back to the flat.

OP posts:
Owllady · 26/01/2016 10:17

How are you going to get him to do that?
Is he def going back tomorrow?
Has your dv last assessed your risk etc?

eyebrowse · 26/01/2016 10:22

If he has a history of violence you can go to the police about this

Original poster
Lovelilies2 · 26/01/2016 10:24

He's denying any abuse.
Hasn't threatened me, apart from saying he wants to be in the house or won't pay anything more than half mortgage because he can't afford it (he's always taking trips away and has a £20k merc).
DV lady can't see me today because of staff sickness.
I am despairing...

OP posts:
ImperialBlether · 26/01/2016 10:28

I don't think it's in your son's interests to be with him for three days/nights a week. I didn't think 50-50 care was seen as the best thing for the child when they're so young.

TheoriginalLEM · 26/01/2016 10:41

Can you get some legal advice somewhere today? Both about your share and the mortgage because it sounds like he would stop paying just to cause greif.

Original poster
Lovelilies2 · 26/01/2016 11:13

I've rung NCDV helpline who said I can only get an emergency injunction if there's been violence or a threat of it in last 10 days. Which he hasn't. He's playing the game.
And I can't see my solicitor til tomorrow

OP posts:
ricketytickety · 26/01/2016 11:30

Can you call womensaid? 0808 2000 247 24 - they will have some advice on what to do. They know all about exit plans / places to stay etc.

Original poster
Lovelilies2 · 26/01/2016 18:54

Well he's gone (again).
I'm going to get all our stuff packed up this week and put it in storage. Mum has agreed to let us stay at hers while we get house sorted.
And apparently I'll get the paperwork tomorrow to sign over house and arrange to get my money from him.

Things looked bleak this morning and I let it all get to me, but we seem to be moving in the right direction

OP posts:
Topseyt · 26/01/2016 20:52

It's good that your Mum has changed her mind. Is she aware of how bad things have been?

Keep things moving forward. Keep strong and keep going. Flowers

startrek90 · 27/01/2016 22:06

Sounds like he is going to try and skip out on paying you what he owes you. He forces you out and gets the house. Be careful. He sounds a right slippery bastard.

I hope you and those precious children of yours are safe. Don't feel sorry for the twonk. Easier said than done I know...

Original poster
Lovelilies2 · 29/01/2016 20:39

Completed on my new house!
Tons of work need doing but it will be worth it Grin

OP posts:
TempusEedjit · 29/01/2016 20:57

Congratulations, stay strong Smile

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