So, here it is, the germ of an idea. Not thought through yet, just playing with the idea. I've been estranged from my dm for at least a decade. It was always in my mind that the time would come when I walked away but when it finally happened it was unplanned. It would have come as a great shock to my dm. There was a little effort on her part to reach out initially but I rebuffed her firmly & we've had years of silence. Now, after such a long time she's made contact requesting reconciliation. I have no idea where she is coming from, whether she's had any therapy & is a changed person or whether she's exactly the same. There's a whole back-story obviously. I'm not sure how I feel about this. I've been very happy since going nc & the time has slipped by like water, I've not noticed at all. But I am at least going to consider reconciliation as this chance may not appear again. I don't want to write directly to her, or have phone calls much less meet at this point. I am wondering what you think of me setting up a thread & we meet here amongst you all to thrash it out, or not, as the case may be. This is very unusual I appreciate but if this is going to happen, it will be on my terms. MN has given me lots of support through the years & I appreciate the collective wisdom. Doing it this way would allow me to keep the whole event at arms length. I could dip in & out as I choose. I could have the collective support of other mnrs to arbitrate. It's a very unusual approach I know & she would have to 'buy into it' too - which I think she might. I can imagine a whole chorus of 'this is a nutty idea' but lets hear your responses & see...