Fed up with the one of each perfect family!

[imdreamingofawhiteKITTYmas]

Firstly today on the phone with a friend who I hardly see but speak to once a week on the phone we were talking about our children as you do she has a 4yo DD and a DS that is 4 days older than my DD2. She says "I now know what mums say about THEIR boys, I love my DD but my DS is just really special, my DP wants us to stop now we have one of each as well" Every time she phones she has to make a little comment about having one of each. I usually say I'm really happy with my 2 DDs especially with them being close in age which I am.

Then I had my mother (she of course having one of each with the perfect spacing in her opinion) saying "well you need to have another one to see if you can have a boy, a woman is not a real woman until she can have a boy WTF" if I have another baby It will be because we want another baby not to have a boy. I get angry anyone would think we were disappointed with DD2, I couldn't care less what she has between her legs. I'm dreading getting pregnant again in a way (it's a big IF right now though) in case I spend 9 months saying "I don't mind if it's not a boy"

Argh!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

Your friend is annoying and your mum sounds a little bit bonkers imo!

you can't win

post could easily have been written by someone with 2 (or more) boys, 2 (or more) girls, or 1 (or more) of each

you just can't win

so don't worry about it

I am pregnant with no 2, with a DD of 3 years, and just like you say, everyone seems to want to comment. ' hope its a boy this time' etc etc. We don't give a damn either way but if we could choose we would choose a girl anyway. Why the hell do people think one of each is so perfect?? Beats me. Two of the same much easier in my opinion

it's such bollocks, I have 3 of the same and for me that's just perfect and what I would have chosen.

you should carry on having girls then when you have 8 and people say " dont u think u should stop now>?" say
" not until i get a boy....can i borrow some money i'm skint"

nice practical solution there custardo
I love having two sons - am delighted they'll have each other to hang out with when they are older and that toy/clothes can be shared. And I have said so on occasion - not to make other people feel bad but because I genuinely think having two boys is great.

I'm sure I'd have a different reason why I would love one of each, or two girls if that's what I had.

The comments don't stop even when you have one of each. I have 2 boys and a girl and people still go on about me having another girl so that we have 2 of each.

Point out the disadvantages to her every time she says it

eg different sexes = different interests - so twice the work for the mum in taking them there OR they go to half as many things

different sexes less likely to be good friends

then add in "you must feel so much pressure not to have any more you poor thing"

franky your mum sounds so bonkers its not worth bothering finding a response to her comments!

Seriously, everyone gets this sort of grief, its not just you. People are so rude.

actually I felt the same as some of these people about the perfection of having one of each

that is why I put DS2 in the bin and kept trying till I had DD

(that is a lie by the way .. I have never in any way put a child of mine .. or anyone else's in the bin

although I am very tempted with my 2.7 year old atm

Actually Custy my aunt did that.

So she had 6 girls and then a boy. And then another boy.

I'm beginning to get these comments as well, I'm 30 weeks (I think, lost count) pg and have found out it will be dd2. I've already been asked if we'll try again for a boy, had "and how do you feel about that?" in sensitive tones and my Mum said "never mind, I'll love her just as much as if she'd been a boy"

wtf?

I'm really pleased I'll be having 2 girls but, like eefs, I'm sure I would have delighted whatever combination we'd got.

I have always detected a bias towards boys in all these conversations. I have so many friends who say they "really want a boy", but fewer who say they "really want a girl".

More people in the West do want girls. And more people in Eastern countries want boys. That's what they find in gender selection clinics.

If I'm honest I always wanted girls, I can't imagine playing with Action Man and I have a phobia about boy's socks!

Well i wanted to have a boy then had dd and then I wanted another girl and had ds.
Couldn't care less that we have "one of each" - still would like another.
Kind of realised when ds was born that he isn't just a boy, just like dd isn't just a girl. They're Lucy and Tom and I'd love them regardless of their gender.
I get sick of people kind of assuming because you've got one of each that you wouldn't bother having any more.

Hey, Kitty, perhaps we should've swapped out January babies?

"our", obviously.

Can you believe they're nearly ONE?!

fennel - that fits with what suejonez said once - that more boys are available for adoption as girls more in demand - seen to be 'easier' apparently

I really love my children and I'm very happy with them. They happen to both have willies. This I also love, because I don't have to worry about what to call their twinklemoomoofairyminniefluffbits

But no doubt if I only had children who had fanjos, there would be equally brilliant pros to that too

boy number 4 is due in feb, you wouldnt believe how shocked people are when i tell them i am happy about them all being boys

hahaha

hollow laugh after one day of the holidays with my 3 "easy" ones

But they're girls, Fennel, they must like sitting down and reading quietly, perhaps some colouring in (being careful not to go outside the lines) and singing to their dollies, surely?

God stereotypes based solely on gender are depressing, aren't they?!