Not sure about meeting this guy

[LoTeQuiero]

Met him online ( not dating site, fb, via mutual friend. Got chatting, etc.). He's a professional, been working away for the last few weeks and we've been chatting loads. We've made plans to meet in London next week, go to a show, stay overnight (separate rooms!)

He sounds lovely, intelligent and friendly. My issue is this: he NEVER asks me anything about myself. Sometimes we exchange ten messages a day and sometimes it's none. But they are all inevitably about me asking him about his day, background, etc. - you know, the stuff about sisters and brothers everyone discusses in the beginning. I was so excited to finally meet him but this what seems like utter self-absorption is really getting to me. I have visions of sitting next to him struggling to think of the next question to ask!

Thoughts, wise MN-etters??

I think you're taking one hell of a risk by planning anything more than a coffee or drink on a first meeting, mutual friends or not. The guy seems self absorbed and will very likely think you are desperate because you have 'fed' his ego this far. Please, OP, avoid.

Goddessofmallthings. The first two paragraphs of that about communication are absolutely spot on :)

Go on the date - see how it goes.
When texting until then, maybe throw in the odd 'Do you want to know about MY day at all?' etc.....

I think your expectations of these early texts are too high. He hasn't even met you yet. Go enjoy the show and see if you actually want a relationship because you're not really in one at this stage.

Good to know I'm in likeminded company, Naze

Tbh I had to learn about asking questions because I had always felt that was intruding.
I am quite happy for people to tell me stuff and I usually remember things.
So, I'd start telling him stuff and see if he takes an interest or not. If not, and the same irl, then I'd dump.

A mixed response! I will definitely update. There's flirting, yes. He seems nice..... He's a doctor so I'm hoping that personal hygiene won't be an issue!

It seems odd that he is not taking much of an interest about who you are what you do with yourself etc. Just because he is educated don't mean he is all that either. If i was texting someone i'd be wanting someone to return the questions at least about me personally. It sounds odd. I wouldn't do the formal going to the city for the weekend plan either. What happens if after 5 mins you decide you don't like each other?

Have you skyped?

It might help with that initial contact and it could prevent you from going all the way to London to find out you don't like each other after 5 min.

Most doctors spend considerable time each day asking questions of patients and their relatives/carers and making inane polite conversation and he no doubt needs a break from it in his downtime.

Many pyschopaths are drawn to the medical profession If he's working in a hospital he'll have his pick of single and available nurses and if he's a GP he'll have a surfeit of local females fawning over him.

In other words, there'll be no shortage of competition for his affections and I very much doubt he has to travel to find an easy lay.

Unless he's a lab rat, personal hygiene is unlikely to be an issue and if you want to be a contender you're best advised to curb your enthusiasm and go easy on batting your eyelashes at him, OP.

Well. I'll be meeting him in about two hours. Nervous as fuck but I'm loving being in London! Question is - do I have a glass of wine before he gets here or not?!

Good luck!

If you haven't eaten (much) today I wouldn't have wine now as I would personally then either be bladdered when he turned up, or falling asleep. Neither being particularly attractive

All the best, hope it works out well for you. Glass of red & go for it :)

I hope it goes well for you.
Keep steering the conversation back to you if he keeps talking about himself.

Thanks! Don't worry, I've eaten plenty and had lots of water. And now a double g&t!

Double G & T? How very civilised :)

I bet he is waiting until he sees you so that you have something to talk about!

Have a great time :)

I haven't anything to add but I want to mark my place so I can see how the date goes!

Drums fingers

I was going to reply that you should meet him as people are different in real life as to electronic "performance" - but see that you are practically there now! Hope all goes well.

Marking place

That was meant to be followed with a 😳 !!

How is/was it?!

Placemarking also 😳

Hope you enjoyed the Show