Is it normal for your dp to lounge around in a state of undress?

[ravenmum]

When he got home, my ex used to take off his trousers and sit around with bare legs. He had these really long baggy vests and it looked like he was wearing a skirt. Now I'm in a new relationship, long enough for us not to be on our absolute best behaviour any more, and it seems the new man is most comfortable with his t-shirt rucked up over his stomach and his belly on display.

Now I have no problem with a belly, but it reminds me of my ex and how it felt like I wasn't important enough to make any effort for. I'd always at least make an effort to tame my hair and put on a dressing gown at breakfast but he'd be there just in a vest, hunched over his bowl and slopping his food. I felt like if I'd dressed and acted the same way he'd have been entitled to complain that his wife was letting herself go.

The new man still making an effort in other ways and he has no vest. But is this something I should be calling him up on (how??)? Is it just because I don't complain about these things that men think they need to make no effort? Or am I just being picky, and actually it just means they're relaxed? Men aren't expected to watch out for these things quite as much, are they?

I would hate gut out and the vest. Is he Onslow?

Dp wears pyjama bottoms around the house and a Tshirt. I wear largely the same.

Buy him some crop tops then he can channel Britney Spears properly

Vest

Sounds minging and I'd hate it if DH started doing that.

Anyone remember the thread with the MNer whose DH walked around wearing just a T-shirt with his veg swinging freely?

Isn't this just normal for everyone?

Jesus, I practically live in pyjamas or onesies at home - rarely brush my hair unless I'm going somewhere. I'd hate to be 'on' all the time. My boyfriend just hangs out in his dressing gown or some jeans (occasionally a pair of scrubs he borrowed from the hospital when I had my c.s because he says they are the comfiest thing he's ever worn).

Don't you ever get chance to just relax and be your natural self? Why do you have to be making an effort All the time to feel your partner loves you?

My DH is always bare chested, almost never wears a top around the house. He's always done this and Im used to it now. Only problem is he's quite hirsute and I'm sure he moults more than the dog.

I suppose it depends what you mean by making an effort. Pyjamas are fine. Dirty/smelly pyjamas nor fine. I don't want to kiss someone who hasn't cleaned his teeth or shaved. Relaxed is fine- hand down the pants not fine.

And t shirt hoisted over pot belly definitely not fine.

Filing away the Britney Spears reference for future use

No, not at home. No clothes in a spa when abroad though.

I think an effort should be made to look presentable at home.

I'm with you....it's a bit gross and I don't carry on like that

If he had amazing body is prob find a way to cope with it :-)

DH wanders round upstairs naked- bed to bathroom etc.

When he goes to make us morning tea he doesn't put anything on unless it's cold- a dressing gown, probably mine.

Usually downstairs at night he wears long brushed cotton pyjama bottoms- tartan or reindeers- that he never wears to bed, and a t shirt- he looks everso fetching in them.

I'm always dressed with an 'up-do' (it's practical, honest) and my husband is a bit of a scruff but I don't mind it, I just don't find it particularly attractive. He calls me 'Princess Grace' and I call him 'Stig of the Dump'. We get on alright but I wish he'd smarten up.

My DH often comes home from work and takes his shorts and t shirt off and relaxes in his pants and underlayer top. It doesn't bother me unless his boxer buttons are undone and he's accidentally flashing, or if the undies are super worn out and have started to get holes in - those bad boys get thrown out instantly.

I don't see it as disrespect to me, I see my hardworking husband, who provides for his family so I can be a SAHM, relaxing after his day at work and enjoying feeling comfortable in my company to do so how he wishes.

Equally, I don't swig mouthwash abd slap lipstick on as soon as I wake up so that he never sees me looking "dishevelled" and smelly. We're human.

It does sound a bit unattractive. I have to say, I'm not keen on everyone letting it all hang out all the time. I don't wander round with my belly hanging out, why should anyone? You can be comfortable without looking like Wayne Slob.

I'm smiling at all these men holding their bits. What is that all about? DH does it on a regular basis. I guess I would if I had one though

Well im currently wearing minions PJ bottoms, a white vest top that has abtea stain on it and dp's giant bright red work fleece and have birds nest hair, sexy me
If he doesn't like it he can bugger off, im comfy and he loves me anyway

Channel britney made me laugh:)

I always look co ordinated, even lounge wear after a bath, and although I sleep alone now, I squirt a bit of perfume on before bed- I don't know why, maybe I secretly hope James blunt will break down outside my house or something and bang on the door:)

I wouldn't like some chap lounging around with their tummy out. Can't you buy him a nightshirt? Though I have to say an adult onesie is worse. Unless I really really loved him and he was the man of my dreams. But even so..( sits on fence)